Posted by: Tanja | 2009-08-24


Hi Doc, Need some advice please

Me and my BF Have been together 4 almost 6jrs, been living together for 4jrs and we share a child of 3 and a half.

since i have had my baby my libido are really low but i do give him but not always, sometimes he gets mad at me when i say no or will just go on after i said no, so to avoid a fight i do it anyway after saying no

We had intercourse on Thursday night, friday night and saturday morning, We went over to friends for a braai and had some drinks, i had a little too much and just wanted to sleep when we got home, next moment my pants are down and he is on top of me, i said please i dont want to because i am not feeling well and i just want to sleep, and he went on, then i said no again in a louder tone, he stopped and got of throuing my legs over and i almost fell of the bed he turned his back to me and slept, the next morning he pretended like nothing happened.

This is bothering me, Sunday the hole day i was wondering if this is something more that can get dangerous and i was wondering about my feelings towards him, every time he gets mad at me cos i said no i am wondering about my feelings and his feelings towards me, i sometimes wonder if he loves me or if he just keeps me for sex? I am so confused, cos i do love him but after something like this happens i wonder

Please help me, i am confused

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wonder whether there might be an element of PND ( Post-Natal Depression ) here ? It's quite common after the hormonal turmoil of pregnancy and childbirth, and it can grow sneakily. Fortunately it usually responds really well to proper treatment. His responses are unpleasant, though he probably does not understand what is going on within you, nor understanding how he could help. Couples counseling could be a good idea, and ask the counsellor to assess whether you might be depressed, in which case treatment from a clinic, GP or shrink, could help you all rather a lot

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Really | 2009-08-24

I agree with CS, you need to be checked out. It really feels as if you don' t want him, especially that whenever he asks you say no.

He has to reason with you though, and try and help you through this. Maybe you should explain how you feel before he starts wanting s*x, maybe at a time when there are no feelings of arousal.

Couple counciling, very important!

All the best!

Reply to Really
Posted by: Electra | 2009-08-24

Sex without consent is ... RAPE!

Reply to Electra

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