Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-13

bossy kids

I love my kids, all young adults now, with their own busy lives, but they are a pain at present. They keep on telling me how to live my life- I should dress like this, eat like that, behave like this, handle my husband like that... etc. I know I' m not perfect. everyone is a work in progress. But this nagging is not helping. It really makes me feel like digging my heels in, even if it is well-intended. Why are they being like this- is it s a normal phase? And how do I tell them to butt out without making them feel that I disagree with them? (because mostly, I don' t, i just don' t like the pressure to do things faster and more forcefully)

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Our expert says:
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Maybe remind them, tacfully, how much they dsliked it when you, as the parent, used to tell them how to run their lives, how to dress and what to eat. You can say you're grateful for their advice WHEN YOU ASK FOR IT, but that unsolicited suggestions are not helpful. Delighted to hear you;'re not perfect --- perfect people are boring a nd often phoney. Maybe they're just concerned for your well-being and clumsy in how they try to help ? And you can tell them, as you say here, that often what they suggest is both sensible and exactly what you intended to do, but you feel pressured and immature if they feel they have to tell you things you already know.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-15

Easy. Return the favour and keep on pestering them about their lives, dress, etc

Reply to Anonymous

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