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Question
Posted by: Bev | 2011/02/23

Boss - accusations

Hi
My boss is retired but still working ie in his 70''s. Known to be a very difficult man. His previous assistant told me everything will be my fault whether it is or isn''t etc, Its true, he loves to point out the tiniest error (I am very good at my job), wants everything his way (unless you really stand up and show him your way is better), is highly confrontational, loves to make snides little marks and jibes. I''m in my 40''s. After 3 years of being Ms Sweet I finally let him have it at the risk of being fired.He actually told me I am very good and rewarded me with an extra bonus.Great.Except that it continues and it is wearing me down.I find I am retalitating, being cheeky,being evasive &  downright rude.I have spoken to him and he said it is me.I said no actually it is you.I am sick and tired of being blamed, tired of his little snide comments, he makes a HUGE deal out of everthing and expects everything to do done in 2 mins (literally).I work for a good company and no I don''t want to look for another job.The other girl was silent, did her job and just went home.Its not my style but I am beginning to think it should be. Everything is excused with his age.He''s fit, mentally sharp (I almost forget he never makes a mistake and if he does it is just nothing in his eyes).Don''t bother with HR like all big companies they hire and fire as they like.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I once worked for a guy like that, who blamed us for every error he made. I responded by apologising profusely and immediately, every time he did something wrong - and it so bothered him that he started taking responsibility himself, just so as to disagree with me !
If it's his company, why not let him have things exactly his way, and to suffer the consequences. Just make sure he initials the instructions before doing anything you think is mistaken on his part.
This is wearing you down, because you are insisting on taking it seriously. He's an old dog, and likes barking. Let him bark, you don't have to be offended by it Retaliating wears you down more than him, and helps nothing.
The other girl was right - she did not give him the power to annoy her

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ph | 2011/02/24

My first job when i was 19 years I was an assistant to the founder of a company, a very brilliant 70 yrs old. Fresh from college, I had no idea what the workplace was like, on my first day, his kids (who were adults) called me in the office and told me that he is rude, full of himself and shouts, and is very aggressive, does not allow mistakes etc. Let me say, I went into the job scared, thinking how am I going to deal with him, but the truth be told, he made me who I am today, humble (even if i have to say so myself), hard working. He once jokingly told me that the reason his kids are like this is because they started at the top, and he said " everyone must be at the bottom at some point " . Yes there were moments that i thought he is crazy, but i never verbally retaliated, i let my work speak for itself. Its true that words, can never be forgotten, therefore choose the alternative

Reply to Ph
Posted by: PA too | 2011/02/23

Hi
Yes, I had a boss like that about 6 years ago.

I have a very strong personality and had a hard time with him. Untill I decided, you know what... stuff this.... you want me to be " brainless" , I don''t mind.

I did only as I was told (whether I felt it was wrong or not), when I was told and how I was told. If he told me wrong, I did it wrong. I insisted on instructions on e-mail so he could not later say that it was my fault.

I think it actually irritated him (LOL), but I got used to it and it worked for me.

I went into this other " mode"  when he walked in and changed back to " me"  when he walked out. Try it !!!

Reply to PA too
Posted by: Realist | 2011/02/23

He is seventy - just sit it out............ Although the same was said of Mugabe...............

Reply to Realist
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/23

I once worked for a guy like that, who blamed us for every error he made. I responded by apologising profusely and immediately, every time he did something wrong - and it so bothered him that he started taking responsibility himself, just so as to disagree with me !
If it's his company, why not let him have things exactly his way, and to suffer the consequences. Just make sure he initials the instructions before doing anything you think is mistaken on his part.
This is wearing you down, because you are insisting on taking it seriously. He's an old dog, and likes barking. Let him bark, you don't have to be offended by it Retaliating wears you down more than him, and helps nothing.
The other girl was right - she did not give him the power to annoy her

Reply to cybershrink

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