Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-12

bordering on retirement crisis

hi Doc, My Mom is 65, divorced and single. She works very hard in the formal sector and has been doing so for years. She seldom takes time out, is a perfectionist, refuses help and is fiercely independent. She lives alone in a large house and is stuggling to maintain it and is often tired and depressed. She puts this down to work stress and is cutting herself off from us all in an attempt to "  get control "  of her life. She knows she is at a crossraods and needs to make changes/adjustments in the near future, but seems terrified and indecisive. She cannot keep working forever and refuses help to keep the house running. She has been battling with this for over a year now ( she is on chronic anti-depressant meds..for years now).

I thought it might help if we could find a life coach / therapist specialising or recommended in this particular area ( as I am sure she is not the only one). ..someone who can help her look objectively at her future and guide her so that she has the best possible chance of making choices that are right for her.

Would you please be able to recommend us to someone of this nature in the jhb area?
Thankyou kindly.

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Our expert says:
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I flatly refuse to recognizwe that the bogus species of "Life Coach" has any validity and use whatever. They have no proper training to render them competent to deal with any psych illness, nor even common life problems. Its a fad. Now, a specialist psychiatrist or psychologist or fully trained counsellor may well be able to help, if she can be persuaded to acept the posibility of such help. The diagnosis ( depression ? Still present, or maybe a different diagnosis now ) needs to be reconsidered, and its treatment.
She sounds like the sort of person who, unless they plan well for their future, including ways to keep usefully busy after retirement, can react disasterously to retirement. Counselling / therapy ( FAMSA and the Anxiety/Depression Support Group ) can help identify a suitable person --- for many good reasons we cannot recoomend individual shrinks on this forum. She can make more rational plans for the house, either finding a place more manageable for her, or dividing it so she can share it with others ; she can become involved in charities / NGOs as a volunteer to keep busy and to remain feeling useful, and so on

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