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Question
Posted by: pk | 2008/09/03

bipolar

hey,

my girflriend has been diagnosed with bipolar and started using lithium about 2-3 weeks ago,we have been together for 2 months and supported her all the way, ive never really trusted a girl in my life wich made it complicated in anyway,but the type of impulsive behaviour she had made me even more not trust her, a week ago she freaked out casue i never trust her and she said its better if we take our own roads and that its not over forever and that i must just get over my trust issue, the next day i went to her psych and spoke to her and she immediatly said its the personalities that i have an issue trusting but someone with bipolar will make it worse casue of the way they think.. the next day my girl went there and the psych told me that my girflriend said she still loves me and doesnt want to leave me but thats a week ago i havnt heard from her since last tuesday,on monday i sms ed her and said goodluck with matrix exams and she said thanks, thats all,her psych says shes got a way of blocking out sertain stuff and certain time when its to hurtfull or if she doesnt want to talk about something,she has now missed 2 appointsments with the psych becasue i think she knows the psych is gona mention us, could it be that i should go on with my life ? or just give my girlfriend or ex girlfriend ? some time, casue i dont know where i stand... and dont want to confront her now she may leave me then or never speak to me when shes this vulnerable, only thing that i think is that in a way shes blocking the relationship out untill its finished and then she will work on it again she did mention suming like this to the psych, will she suddenly snap out of it and sms me and call me like usuall ? or can she totally block this forver ? i just want to know where i stand... her psych is still trying to get her to come see her again, she said i must still not have contact with her until they spoke about it, but its hard i love this girl...just want to know where i stand...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

hey, pk,
Its difficult if you hacve had previous experiences in life which have made it hard for you to trust a girl, and you meet a loveable girl who has Bipolar Disorder. Because when they go high, into a Manic episode, they will be impulsive, over-active, and just not exercising good judgement at all. When Manic they can very reasonably be hard to trust, and indeed need to be protected from themselves.
And it sounds as though things are indeed getting complicated withi her life, afgfecting you but probably not actually about you. Now, Bipolar Disorder doesn't cause people to block out chunks of their life ; that's more related to an underlying personality disorder, which may be worse and more of a nuisance when they're high.
Give her some time, but not indefinitely ( your own needs and life need to be taken fully into consideration. But don't blame her or yourself if it takes her a while to get sorted out again. It sounds as though her medication hasn't yet found the right combination and dises, maybe she needs something more in addition to the Lithium.
Of course you want to know where you stand. Right now, she probably doesn't know where she stands, so won't be able to tell you that for a while.
SOmeone with an unstable Bipolar Disorder may need someone to watch them and ensure they don't stop their medicinies, don't get into trouble while mani,c and that they keep their shrink appointments

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