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Question
Posted by: Pierre | 2011/11/28

Biopolar

I need help. I have a friend that is bioporar. How do you handle them. This friend has tried to commit suiside twice and today again. I do not know how to handle it as my life is no in pieces, of sleepnes nights, of worrying.. I feel like tell her to go to hell (sorry for this expression) and to do what she wants to do. She also do not want to get help.

Can I be hard on her or how should I handle it

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand and commend your degree of concern, but primarily managing their bipolar disorder is their own responsibility, and that of the doctor helping them ( and in the sort of situation you describe, this should be a psychiatrist, and not only a GP ). Remember that your worrying about them doesn't really help them, and your allowing yourself to become sleepless, etc., is really no benefit to them at all.
It is irresponsible for her to refuse to get help, like someone with a broken leg being so silly as to refuse help. Its bad for you and her to allow her to blackmail and manipulate you bu using and abusing her illness.
Be firm with her - make it clear that you want the best for her, but can't take responsibility for her making bad choices, and that insisting on not getting proper help from a psychiatrist is foolish and irresponsible and deliberately self-destructive. You can say you are pleased to support and encourage her to get help and to do what is necessary on the advice of her psychiatrist, but that you will NOT assist her to avoid the help she needs or to continue acting as she has been, in ways that are hermful to herself.
If she has three times tried to commit suicide, what on earth are her doctors doing to enable her to continue doing so without either voluntarily ( on her part ) or compulsorily getting her to see a psychiatrist for a proper assessment and treatment ? Its their duty to do that.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/11/28

I understand and commend your degree of concern, but primarily managing their bipolar disorder is their own responsibility, and that of the doctor helping them ( and in the sort of situation you describe, this should be a psychiatrist, and not only a GP ). Remember that your worrying about them doesn't really help them, and your allowing yourself to become sleepless, etc., is really no benefit to them at all.
It is irresponsible for her to refuse to get help, like someone with a broken leg being so silly as to refuse help. Its bad for you and her to allow her to blackmail and manipulate you bu using and abusing her illness.
Be firm with her - make it clear that you want the best for her, but can't take responsibility for her making bad choices, and that insisting on not getting proper help from a psychiatrist is foolish and irresponsible and deliberately self-destructive. You can say you are pleased to support and encourage her to get help and to do what is necessary on the advice of her psychiatrist, but that you will NOT assist her to avoid the help she needs or to continue acting as she has been, in ways that are hermful to herself.
If she has three times tried to commit suicide, what on earth are her doctors doing to enable her to continue doing so without either voluntarily ( on her part ) or compulsorily getting her to see a psychiatrist for a proper assessment and treatment ? Its their duty to do that.

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