Posted by: Anon | 2013-02-22

Big changes

Good Morning
I posted before about the bully I work for. Then I started thinking about everything that I loathe about this job (which I ignored as these days you take what you get right) - nearly 8 years down the line...
Well, an opportunity has come my way.
I am TERRIFIED of changing, but the place I work for is not doing well and the other one is doing really well. I have two ex colleagues fm 20 years back who work there (only found out post fact) and they say it is a good and fair place. It also means we have to move to the area (OK). I am just so nervous as it is one thing to say it and another to do it. My good old mom said she has never seen me this unhappy and sometimes you have to take a risk. My friends say the same thing. I consider myself very fortunate to have this opportunity (pretty much a done deal). I wanted to be as nasty as I can in my resignation letter but then I decided to write a letter that will blow them away thanking them (there were good times before bully came), wishing them well and all that. Being the better person and besides I cannot write off 8 years on my salary.
Why is change so scary these days, I guess because of the economic situation and the fact that I am older and maybe in a way less bold? Look bully hates me because I stood up for myself and did show " it"  up. If they get a young person who knows no better all will be well, but if they get a mature person with a few years experience the same problems will arise. Depends on how timid the person replacing me is.
So a huge big step and I have to find another place to live before anyone knows I am changing my job! Well I am relilable.

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like the move would be excellent in many ways. The anxiety you fear is about changing the habit of working with this one place and the other habits associated with it. Sounds like it'd be more of s risk to stay where you are than to make the move.
You're absolutely right NOT to write a snotty letter as you leave - it would achieve nothing useful for you. And writing a really nice letter would disappoint some and annoy the hell out of the bully, especially if you sweetly emphasized how marvellous it was to work there, ESPECIALLY in the good old days ( before the Bully arrived ). And should you ever need any form of reference from them in the future, this makes it more likely to be friendly.
I'm sure you'll thrive in the new position !

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