Posted by: Ladybug | 2009-06-05

bf confuses me.

Hi... I' m very confused by my boyfriend. When he wants sex, he' s very insistent and always ends up getting it. But when I want sex, I will do so much to get him interested (and I' ll feel that he gets an erection) but 99% of the time it won' t happen. Then he tells me that when I want him, I must just grab his privates and drag him to bed... I' m not a cavewoman, and I have a problem with this. Surely a half-naked woman on a man' s lap telling him to take her to bed isn' t ambiguous and confusing to a man? It just feels like he has control issues... sex on his schedule, even if I turn him on at other times. What do I do? Refuse sex when he wants it so he knows how I feels?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Sex should be spontaneous and both partners have a right to initiate sex. This may at first be daunting for him that a woman has such a right - to begin with, maybe let both of you hold a joker card over the weekend which allows the partner holding it to sex-on-demand in the position of their choice. In this way, he will come to acknowledge that you have sexual needs (on your own terms) and that these needs are not threatening nor will it threaten his masculinity - by starting with this game, he may come to realise that sex can be good (even great) no matter who initiates it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ja | 2009-06-07

I also feel its unfair. It must go both ways - i would NEVER refuse of play hard to get. If you look after my needs i' ll look after yours - ALL of them.

Reply to Ja
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-06-05

I think men are like predators. It' s all about the chase.

I have similar yet not exact issues with my guy. I am the one in our relationship with the higher sex drive, so I' m always the one initiating sex. He obviously doesn' t react towards my initiations the way I would like.

However, when I don' t feel like it, then he wants it and has much more desire towards me.

I really do think it' s about the chase.

Best of Luck

Reply to Anonymous

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