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Question
Posted by: MichailaRE: Maria | 2011/01/12

Beyond his age

Its not a choice between friends or school work...school work is compulsary! I am saying that he does not do the work unless he is told to do it. He will be 10 this year, but his focus is towards gelling his hair and listening to certain music and following the behaviour of his friends.

Lets just say that he is becoming lazy and wants to hang around bigger kids that he should.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I agree - no school work is not an option. And if he manages to spend time with friends instead of doing school-work, when are they doing THEIR school work ?
Younger kids often think the older kids are cool, and want to hang with them - but the older kids generally find the younger ones naff, and don't want to spend time with the kids.
I agree that the father MUST be more involved, and in your home, the pair of you must be acting as one in regard to setting and administering the rules.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Amy | 2011/01/12

Exactly, you cannot tell a nine year go to go do his homework or expect it to get done, you have to literally check it and go go through it with them. If you are a working step mom and the child stays with you this might be tough believe me it is for me, but you do it with love, and if you are so concerned about him Im sure you do love him. So you say his mom is not much of a mother then you be the mother, he will be thankful for that one day maybe not now but he will.

Reply to Amy
Posted by: Maria | 2011/01/12

What you can tell your husband is this: Kids need love and boundaries to feel safe. It is important that the rules are consistently applied by both parents. If the kids is going to grade 4 now, that''s a tough year academically. He will need to be supervise closely.

Clearly your husband''s ex is not the perfect mom, he must discuss these things with her. Your concern for the child is valid and praiseworthy. Can he not live with you guys? Or does he already?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Amy | 2011/01/12

So then who''s fault is it - not just his mother it takes two to be parents. Speak to your husband tell him what your concerns are and let him deal with it.

Reply to Amy
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/12

I agree - no school work is not an option. And if he manages to spend time with friends instead of doing school-work, when are they doing THEIR school work ?
Younger kids often think the older kids are cool, and want to hang with them - but the older kids generally find the younger ones naff, and don't want to spend time with the kids.
I agree that the father MUST be more involved, and in your home, the pair of you must be acting as one in regard to setting and administering the rules.

Reply to cybershrink

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