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Question
Posted by: annie | 2012-11-08

betrayed a friend

Good day all

I have done something am not proud of, i hooked up with my boyfriend''s husband, we kissed and touched eachother in a very so not innocent way, very intimate. Now i told my other friend about it she is advices me to come clean and confess to my best-friend or cut the ties with my bestfriend as i dont deserve that title, i felt she was been too harsh on me, it was just a moment of weakness.

my bestfriend doesnt have to know what happened. what she doesnt know wont hurt her, we been friends for long and i cant just cut ties with her she will ask me all sort of question and am dont think confessing is an option for me.

now this other friend things that i really dont have morals, she told me in my face that if i dont see wrong in what i have done, she also wont be trusting me around her partner.

I really dont see why she is making big fuss about all this, she doesnt even know the other lady, and she wasnt there so she cant judge me.

what is your take on this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

First of all, cut all contact with the man involved, who is behaving as badly as you are.
And that "you can't judge me" excuse is never ever convincing. ANYONE can judge you when you choose to do something anyone else would condemn as wrong. If your girlfriend had had some grubby sex with YOUR boyfriend or husband, would you se nothing wrong with that ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2012-11-08

Kelly is 100% right, they don''t have to know each other for the one to care about it, it''s about basic morals and your lack of caring about what you have done. How can you engage in sexual activities of any kind with your best friend''s husband and not see how serious that is? To be an actual friend you need to be trustworthy, if you treat your BEST FRIEND so horribly can you blame this other friend for not wanting you near her?

If you didn''t want to hurt your friend, you should have stayed a way from her husband to begin with. How did you even end up in a situation with him where this could take place?? A moment of weakness doesn''t quite cut it for me, it also doesn''t make it any less severe. Unless you just randomly jump your friend''s husbands, there had to be some form of attraction felt there before you let this event take place? And instead of actively working on doing the RIGHT thing and avoiding situations which could lead to temptation, you went ahead and did something you knew was wrong and extremely selfish and that would cause you friend a great deal of heartache. Just come clean about it, whether it hurts her or not, she has a right to know, don''t you agree?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Jenna | 2012-11-08

Honestly you sound like any girl''s nightmare. Kissing and getting dirty with your BEST FRIEND''S HUSBAND while you yourself are in a relationship? If you felt it necessary to come clean then I would be disagreeing with your friend that you have no morals, but the fact that you clearly see nothing wrong with what you have done really does mean you have no morals. People do have moments of weaknesses, and people do make mistakes BUT to not come clean about it is wrong. Have you thought about coming clean to your boyfriend, at least? Have you thought what if her husband tells her? Then it is going to be even WORSE. Do the right thing and tell her AND your boyfriend. He may break up with you, and she may cut off the friendship but would you blame them? You say that she''s been your friend for a really long time, at least have some respect for her then.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: Rosy | 2012-11-08

How on earth can you kiss your best friend man.Confess and stay a hell away from her you not to be trusted around other friends men

Reply to Rosy
Posted by: Kelly | 2012-11-08

I agree with your friend.
She also does not need to know your other friend to make that judgement call, it has to do with your morals (lack thereof) ad I say she''s right.

Reply to Kelly

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