Posted by: Um | 2008-12-15

Best friends vs child

My husband has two dogs, dogs he loves dearly. He loves them so much that it was a devastating life decision to move them out the bedroom and move me in. I sometimes think that his obsessive love for them is an unhealthy replacement for something/someone that I’ m not aware of, or maybe I’ m just a silly woman and don’ t understand the love man has for his best friend?

I also like the dogs, mostly for his sake I tolerate them. Sometimes they can be quite cute and sometimes I see red when he just mentions them. The one has the habit of peeing in the house. They are 5/6 years old, so they are house trained, but for some spiteful reason the dog does his business on the carpets and even once on the bed.

My husband thinks the world of them, they can do no wrong even doing their thing on the carpets is a joke to him. When I ask him to discipline them, he calls them and tells them not to pee on the carpets again. Sometimes the situation feels totally insane. As if they are his naughty children (he often refers to them as his children), and I feel like the evil step mom. At the moment we are looking after friends of ours house while they are away on holiday, one of their dogs peed on their bedroom carpet and my husband was so disgusted with the dog’ s lack of discipline!!?? So that proves it, he does see right from wrong after all!

I am now six months pregnant and can’ t seem to get him to understand that a baby is not a puppy and that special care will have to be taken with regards to hygiene. If he does take what I say seriously, then he is doing a good job hiding it. Maybe he realises that I’ ve got a point but does not want to admit it? I don’ t want to nag him and for the sake of having peace I rather tell him once and then leave it to sink in.

We are moving to a new house at the end of the month and thankfully all the carpets have been removed and it’ s now only tiles. With my hormones raging, being pregnant and all I’ m afraid of making too big of a deal of this situation, but I feel I would seriously lose it if our child’ s quality of life is hampered by two bratty dogs.

Also I love my husband with all my heart and want him to enjoy having his ‘ best friends’  around the house. I know this situation seems silly, but believe me, it' s very very frustrating. Will he realise how critical the situation is in need of change once our girl is born?

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Our expert says:
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To love a dog or cat is healthy and wholesome. Maybe it's a bit much if a guy hesitates to move the dog from his bedroom to let his wife in, though !
But if he refers to them as naughty children, he needs to recognize that as with parents, it is NOT love to leave them without limits or discupline, and almost abusive not to teach they to be clean and sociable. And how contradictory if he found fault with a freind\s dog peeing on their carpets, but not when his dog does it on yours. Maybe he and his dogs need to see a good dog psychologist, and receive training together.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Voice of Reason | 2008-12-15

It is really nice to see that your partner has such affection for his dogs. Truth is, you are expecting and a human life cannot be equated with a canine' s - as cute and loving as they might be. Somehow, he needs to reassess the situation as it is not a healthy situation for a new born to be in. Remember that dogs are at the bottom of the ' family'  hierachy. Bring it to his attention. Then again, perhaps he might be more accepting once the reality of your baby' s birth takes place. Good luck.

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