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Question
Posted by: Ouch | 2010/09/02

Best friend and ex

I know there is nothing to do, but I need to get it out.
I went through a year with one girl. The first 6 moths was amazing, but then it all became destructive, yet she was my drugs - I was madly in love, and did not care.
About a month ago we went mountain climbing - because we tried the friends thing. I took along my best friend, visiting from London.
They met for the 3 hours, and that night the 2 of us decided friendship will not work. 2 days later I realised they are contacting each other through FB, and i asked both to respect the sitiuation.
I thought it was a done deal - but on his last night here I through him a going away, and he told me he still wants to persue a friendship. I told him it will hurt me - but as I drove off - things started to make sense.
I phoned her - and she confirmed that 2 days after i told them, he spend the night there - and it went on for 2 weeks. Some nights i will be with him, and after I left - he''ll go to her.
First he denied even kissing her - and kept on lying, until i told him she confirmed it.
Worst is - they both claim to have feelings, but in the meantime he kissed one of my other friends - tried it with another girl - and she thinks it is the real thing.
I totally lost it, and told him how I feel. Yesterday he tried to justify it on FB, but not even one of the 2 mailed the 24 hours after I found out to try and explain.
Anyways - only thing I want to do now is tell the world who the real little quite girl is - because i have protected her for a year - and there is a hell of a lot people don''t know - and where I took it to look as the bad one.
I feel like revenge - which is not going to bring her back, but will give me a kick.
Is it normal. I am obviously hurt - and all my trust in both is betrayed - or will it backfire on me if i tell everyone how she thought to be pregnant and wanted a abortion, how she lied to her best friend, how she is actually not the innocent girl, but rather sleep with guys within 2 weeks.
Please help me to calm down - or do it.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds fearfully complex. With nobody being perticularly faithful or honest to each other. ALl unfortunate and hurtful for you, but have either of this pair shown themselves to be worthy of your strong feelings or affection ? If this is how she is, you're well rid of her, and won't need to tell others, who will discover it for themselves ( maybe some already have ? ) Unless you see omeone else at significant risk of being hurt by either of them where a discrete warning might help them, talking about her failings will be more likely to make you sound embittered rather than merely right.
And make your life happier by withdrawing from Facebook, which is really the International Union of Losers.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Just saying! | 2010/09/02

I know it is not easy but you need to move on and yes it hurts like hell, but what will you gain if you bad mouth her ? Nothing she is not going to be with you , be a gentleman and let them be,
It is always difficult if a friend and a ex is involved, but you deserve better ,if she can do it with him , she can do it to him.

Keep your self busy and invest in your self, I am sure there is a nice girl out there just for you.

By the way , if you badmouth her on face book ( I hate fb) every one will think you are the jerk, dont ever kiss and tell, and it is got nothing to do with other people , it is her situations.. you will not be respected.

calm down , it was not the picture perfect relationship and you best friend did not steal her away from you..

Reply to Just saying!
Posted by: Just saying! | 2010/09/02

I know it is not easy but you need to move on and yes it hurts like hell, but what will you gain if you bad mouth her ? Nothing she is not going to be with you , be a gentleman and let them be,
It is always difficult if a friend and a ex is involved, but you deserve better ,if she can do it with him , she can do it to him.

Keep your self busy and invest in your self, I am sure there is a nice girl out there just for you.

By the way , if you badmouth her on face book ( I hate fb) every one will think you are the jerk, dont ever kiss and tell, and it is got nothing to do with other people , it is her situations.. you will not be respected.

calm down , it was not the picture perfect relationship and you best friend did not steal her away from you..

Reply to Just saying!
Posted by: Maria | 2010/09/02

If you go around telling stories about her, even if they''re true, you will look jealous and vindictive. Let it go and be glad that you are no longer in the relationship.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/02

Sounds fearfully complex. With nobody being perticularly faithful or honest to each other. ALl unfortunate and hurtful for you, but have either of this pair shown themselves to be worthy of your strong feelings or affection ? If this is how she is, you're well rid of her, and won't need to tell others, who will discover it for themselves ( maybe some already have ? ) Unless you see omeone else at significant risk of being hurt by either of them where a discrete warning might help them, talking about her failings will be more likely to make you sound embittered rather than merely right.
And make your life happier by withdrawing from Facebook, which is really the International Union of Losers.

Reply to cybershrink

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