Our expert says:
What you describe in your post falls under the area of sexology titled "bdsm": bd = bondage & discipline, ds = domination and submission, and sm = sadism & masochism. You may find literature and websites dedicated to these aspects of human sexual expression. South Africa also has an online group which has meetings in various locations in South Africa called collarme.
Your question is too vast and detailed to answer fully here. I will offer the following. Many people discover and incorporate the types of activities and roles you have described in their sexual repertoire. What is central is that it is activities and roles to which all participants consent, which they experience as sexually and otherwise satisfying and fulfilling, that they negotiate very clear rules that empowers all participants to choose at any point to stop the sexual encounter should they at any point feel unsafe, uncomfortable or no longer desiring to engage or continue in the scene. Participants take special care with regards to issues of safety.
Successfully navigating this range of sexual expression in relationships in a sexually and personally constructive way that is experienced as enriching requires excellent communication skills in negotiating rules, scenes, safe words etc as well as the ability to communicate about the feelings and thoughts that have been raised by this range of sexual expression in ways that resolve them both personally for the individuals involved and for the relationships involved and impacted by the experiences.
So is this normal, yes as long as it meets the description above. If a person's sexual expression becomes exclusively fixated on only being able to be expressed in a certain way and that it also leaves them feeling somehow diminished, demeaned, depressed, shamed etc then I suggest they see a sex therapist who specialises in the field of alternative sexual life styles. The issue is not about the type of sexual activity but about it being fixated and how the person is impacted by it.
I hope this helps.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.