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Question
Posted by: lolli | 2009/10/21

Being intimate while child is in bed

Hi all. This is something that worries me, is it okay to have sex and be intamate while your child sleeps in the bed with you? or is in the room maybe sleeping? I know someone who does this, and I think it is not right as the child should not be exposed to this as they mimic what they see.... what if he wakes up? the same parents also took the child into the gynae with them while she had an internal examination performed, what effect would this have on a child? he is now touching his privates and saying touch touch, is this a sign or what?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Interesting that no other readers have commented here ! What you are describing may not always be severely damaging, but could cause very real problems for the child, and is never beneficial or recommendable. IN a poor household, there may be effectively only one room in which the child(ren) and parents can sleep, so some aspects of this may be hard to avoid. But at least the child should have his own place to sleep, and should not share a bed with parents having sex. Its unlikely the child would NOT wake up, and he would be puzzled and intrigues by what is going on. What he thinks it is, is a diffferent question, especally if the parents pretend nothing happened, and children may form various odd ideas about what parental intercourse may mean.
Taking the child to the gynae where mom is having an internal examination is bizarre - could't a nurse or receptionist care for him in the waiting room ? I'm amazed that any gynae would allow this to happen.
Its hardly surprising that the child has apparently become intensely curious about sex. But from what he has witnessed, one wonders why he expects to get touched, unless this echoes something he heard Dad say.
Some people would unhesitatingly say the parents should be investigated by Child Welfare as there could be more going on/ Most would agree that at least someone should talk calmly to them and make it clear this is not wise behaviour.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/10/21

Interesting that no other readers have commented here ! What you are describing may not always be severely damaging, but could cause very real problems for the child, and is never beneficial or recommendable. IN a poor household, there may be effectively only one room in which the child(ren) and parents can sleep, so some aspects of this may be hard to avoid. But at least the child should have his own place to sleep, and should not share a bed with parents having sex. Its unlikely the child would NOT wake up, and he would be puzzled and intrigues by what is going on. What he thinks it is, is a diffferent question, especally if the parents pretend nothing happened, and children may form various odd ideas about what parental intercourse may mean.
Taking the child to the gynae where mom is having an internal examination is bizarre - could't a nurse or receptionist care for him in the waiting room ? I'm amazed that any gynae would allow this to happen.
Its hardly surprising that the child has apparently become intensely curious about sex. But from what he has witnessed, one wonders why he expects to get touched, unless this echoes something he heard Dad say.
Some people would unhesitatingly say the parents should be investigated by Child Welfare as there could be more going on/ Most would agree that at least someone should talk calmly to them and make it clear this is not wise behaviour.

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