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Question
Posted by: am i mad? | 2010/09/07

battle of the ex''s

i am a 29yr old lesbian, been gay for 12 yrs. i have a lover thats 27 yrs old and we been together for 3yrs. she was str8 b4 we met. she was with a african american guy of high status. about a year into our relationship i logged onto her gmail account (as she asked me to find some info for her) and i stumbled upon 4 pics her EX emailed to her. the pics were explicit and were of her giving him a job. she did tell me he tried to blackmail her with the pics, b4 i found them, and that she forgot to erase them. problem is that i cant seem to get the pics out my mind. when we argue i bring it up like a loaded gun and she doesnt have a comeback to it. we are very much inlove and intend marrying, but i cant seem to " forgive"  her for it and since i found the pics iv been kinda self distructive. what can i do to get over this?!?!?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Seeking the assistance from a professional psychologist or therapist might be worth it. The destruction it is already causing in your relationship could just escalate into the future and might destroy the beauty of the relationship completely. It is statistically found that the reasons for divorces or break up of relationships are often based in unresolved issues before the long term commitment.

You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.
Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: am i mad | 2010/09/07

noted lady man. that was quite harsh though, but i understand what u are saying

Reply to am i mad
Posted by: Lady man | 2010/09/07

So what is your problem. She did tell you about them before you found them. She did not hide them. I think she should leave you. If you cannot forgive her now for things that happened in her past. Then I cannot see what you will be able to forgive for in the future. So sort yourself out first before start to think about marrige.

Reply to Lady man
Posted by: am i mad | 2010/09/07

thank u woman for ur response... i dont think its a possibility anon....its easier said than done to " leave it in the past" . i know im unfair but i think its just something a " new"  relationship can stumble on. things like that im sure would affect anyone inlove.

Reply to am i mad
Posted by: Woman | 2010/09/07

You need to put the past where it belongs - in the past! You cannot let it bother you that she had relationships before she knew of your existence. We all come with baggage, and if you love her &  want to marry her, then you must let it go. If you know she loves you &  wants to be with you and is committed to your future, then her past (and her orientation) should never be held against her.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Anon | 2010/09/07

Get a guy, give him a job, take pic and send them to her, then you can forgive

Reply to Anon
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/09/07

Seeking the assistance from a professional psychologist or therapist might be worth it. The destruction it is already causing in your relationship could just escalate into the future and might destroy the beauty of the relationship completely. It is statistically found that the reasons for divorces or break up of relationships are often based in unresolved issues before the long term commitment.

You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.
Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

Reply to sexologist

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