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Posted by: Nia | 2011-10-04

Banned from the party: more info

Thanks for all the opinions. I just want to add the following: both my kids have been sick with chest infections and ear infections and are just getting better. My sister baby has been in hospital with a chest infection. I honestly thought it is not good for my kids to be outside in Sunday''s weather.

When they did not change the venue I politely called his wife, explained to her that I cannot make it. She said she understood. A few minutes later they sent an sms to my whole family (mom, dad, grandma, other two brothers and sisters, my dad''s partner and her children, telling them that nobody of our family is welcome at the party any longer.

I would understand if they were angry at me and my sister for nog attending (and yes they dont have small kids) but why would they prevent the rest of my family from going too?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As a mom your primary concern must be the health of your children, and not the over-fragile ego of a lousy party organizer. It made sense for them to postpone the party or change the venue, considering the lousy local weather, but telling everyone you're not welcome is sheer spite and bad manners.
See if they cool off and return to whatever senses they had

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Our users say:
Posted by: Truth | 2011-10-04

lf the children were so sick why accept in the first place!
l think yo have changed the facts to show yourself in a better light. However you have one broken family now and need to fix it! lnvite all the family to your house this weekend to make amends - you and your sister can then make sure you have all conveniences on hand regardless of weather illness etc.
You really need to put things right - you need to rise above this. Really you caused this problem by accepting an invitation when illness in the family almost certainly meant you could not attend.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: Anne | 2011-10-04

I think what it actually was is " skaamkwaad"  They probably knew that, considering, they should have tried to accomodate you all, and instead of acknowledging that it would probably have been wiser to move the venue, they decided to lash out. it was unfair towards your family to just tell everybody they are not welcome. I just hope they come to their senses.

Reply to Anne
Posted by: Jenna | 2011-10-04

Thank you for the additional info. One of the posters said that obviously those who said you should go don''t have kids but that''s not true- I have two sons. But had we known that your sisters kids and your kids are sickly already and they are just getting better I''m sure none of us would have suggested it. Taking this then into account, your brother and his wife should have been more accomodating and sympathetic to your kids.

What exactly does your brother have to say about this? Could she be controlling him in some say- surely he would want his family there? Could it just be a petty reason to exclude you guys?

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-10-04

As a mom your primary concern must be the health of your children, and not the over-fragile ego of a lousy party organizer. It made sense for them to postpone the party or change the venue, considering the lousy local weather, but telling everyone you're not welcome is sheer spite and bad manners.
See if they cool off and return to whatever senses they had

Reply to cybershrink

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