I think some people, including sadly too many teachers make the lousy assumption that all restlessness at school, and all misbehaviour must be due to SHDH, when this is absolutely definitively not true.
We need to recognize behaviour problems as just that, and enlist the help of a psychologist to devise a CBT or similar style program to re-introduce proper discipline, with good consequences for good behaviour, and unwelcome consequences for bad behaviour.
You're right that "ADHD" is far too easily used as an excuse and a way to avoid taking personal responsibility for bad choces and bad behaviour.
There are, surely, many things she values - TV time, computer access, cell-phone, trips to the mall, visits with friends, and so on - they need to be only available as reqards for consistent good behaviour, and suspended for a set period of time as a result of bad behaviour, with the rules/ the behaviour expected, clearly spelled out with the child, so she has no excuse of saying she didn't understand the rules.
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