Our expert says:
Sounds like a situation I have indeed seen before, when a guy who has been an ineffective and absent father, who neglected his proper parental duties at the time when he was really needed, later feels a bit guilty and returns, and tries to make amends by being too bossy and trying to be parental in ways that might have been helpful a decade earlier, but which don't recognize the experiences, needs and maturity of their children at this point in time.
he's trying to take up where he left off, ignoring how much has happened to you in the meantime, and maybe not really knowing how to deal with your adult selves.
And, from the sound o it, he may be having problems he isn't recognizing as his own - its not easy to retire from an executive type position in which you were bossing round a large number of people, and then go home, with nobody to be Boss to except the kids and the cat.
Useful questions from Maria. And from your reply, OK by November you will have fresh possibilities in regard to work, supporting yourself and being able perhaps to move out and live independently.
A counsellor might help you learn to effectively become assertive rather than aggressive, and to stand up to your dad in fruitful ways that would help him to learn to respect you rather than just causing conflict. And it does sound as though you have a need to finish working hough the break-up and becoming more resilient as regards such future relationships.
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