Posted by: Mom | 2008-10-30

Bad mom or what??

Today I received a letter from my daughter of thirty 2 +, she had a boyfriend living with us,he loaned R100 to R50 on a daily basis from me, used my car, my petrol,travelled with me every morning and I waited for him after work until after six and I fin at five, they cooked vast sums of meat for breakfast, they paid me R1000 which was two months ago.
She had a fight with the boyfriend who was prepared to marry her and adopt her two kids, treated her like a queen and was parepared to give them all.
Madam thinks she' s a teen and still corosponding with other men, she took photo shots of herself with her boobs all exposed on my partners camera to send to other men.When the boyfriend found out she now says his abusive and can' t allow him to bring up her kids.
I have given her notice because of her attitude towards me and screaming at me in my own house that the neighbours can hear.
Now this morning I get I am a bad mother, never been there for her Bluh bluh.....I told her when she thought she was a big woman and got herself pregnant that was the day she became a woman, was I wrong, is she and her kids my responsibility, I helped send her CV out she is now working, I bought her son whom is now Five milk and clothing whne a baby, plus hired a house where she sat with friends and partied all day not looking for work.
I keep giving her chances but they not good enough for her,she says I treat her like a maid, I get home and cook because of her waste, she changes her linen and I have to iron them, she wont clean just washes the dishe' s she eats out of,helps herself to my stuff.Now she says I am greedy for money, she has to save for her own place and I promised to help them,my light ,water,telephone and internet bills are sky high due to her.she emptied my freezer now refuse' s to pay and her boyfriend has left only paying R1000 again.Am I a bad mother, all I wanted for her when young was the best but she stuffed up clubbing and getting pregnant.How do I handle this?.
she suddenly realised he was abusive.Was that not more than enough help that I gave.Never have I had such high bills and I had warned her but she went ahead phoning cell phones from my landline.

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Our expert says:
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No way you're a bad mother --- SHE is a very bad daughter, immature, selfish and ungrateful. She is her owm responsibility, and her kids are her responsibility, too. You may out of sheer huamn kindness wish to provide some care for the kids, but she should never take this for granted. STOP working for her- -- NO cooking, or washing, or ironing, for her. NO food provided for her unless she pays for it. And neither should this latest bf return, nor any other come. If she wants a man in her life, he must be able to support her, or vice versa --- it's not your responsibility. He doesn't sound particularly abusive --- SHe does sound abusive, of you. Give her a deadline to move out. Where, is her concern, not yours. Get your landline locked, so only you can use it, and the same for your internet connection. If she has a cellphone, she must pay her own bills.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2008-10-30

She is not treating you like her mother, she is treating you like a slave and her personal ATM. Kick her out. She is an adult who made her choices in life and you are not responsible for her. My concern would be for the kids, and only you can decide what you want to do about them. A bad mom you definitely aint.

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