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Question
Posted by: Sheila | 2010/09/14

Bad at coping with death

Hi there,

I am terrible at coping with death. My friend''s dad is very ill in hospital and it makes me cry. I have met his father about three times, so I hardly know the guy. I feel for my friend, as it could be me and I have not yet lost a parent.

The closest person I have lost is my Grandfather, about 15 years ago and this took the wind out of my sails as he was my father figure.

Even when someone dies on the TV, I cry. What''s with that?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Very few people are "good" at coping with death, except in the sense that there are more distant deaths they don't care at all about. In the situation you describe, it sounds as though you are reacting, not really to the illness of your friend's dad as a person in his own right, but to the idea that it could be you losing a parent, and that general fear of losing someone close and dear to you. And when you say you weep at a death in a TV show, this may either mean that you're just a nice but sensitive and tender-hearted person, or perhaps that you have some issues about loss and grief which you could fruitfully work through with the assistance of a good local counsellor

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2010/09/14

So you are sensitive and emotional - perhaps it is just about acceptance that that is who you are and the world could do with more of you?

I''m sure empathy is fine as long as you don''t end up taking responsibilty for other people''s feelings.

Reply to anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/14

Very few people are "good" at coping with death, except in the sense that there are more distant deaths they don't care at all about. In the situation you describe, it sounds as though you are reacting, not really to the illness of your friend's dad as a person in his own right, but to the idea that it could be you losing a parent, and that general fear of losing someone close and dear to you. And when you say you weep at a death in a TV show, this may either mean that you're just a nice but sensitive and tender-hearted person, or perhaps that you have some issues about loss and grief which you could fruitfully work through with the assistance of a good local counsellor

Reply to cybershrink

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