Posted by: Candy | 2009-09-28

Back to work shock

hi there,
i was on maternity leave for 4 months. i suffered from PND. A work collegue' s friend was the temp lady in my place while i was on leave. I went back to work in May and nothing could have prepared me for what awaited me. The temp had completely made herself at home. In one way it is a good thing because she did keep the boat afloat while i was away but i never expected her to become part of the family. I felt like i was no longer welcome and i hate her for this. Now, almost 5 months down the line i' m only just starting to get my feet on the ground, and in she walks today to say " hi"  to everyone. She was greeted with such a welcome and kisses. I could have died. What is this feeling and why am i so threatened by her. I' ve been having nightmares and sleepless nights because of this. I wish she would just piss off and find something else to do.

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Our expert says:
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Was it that you were truly unwelcome when you returned, or that you were ALSO welcome, while she, too, remained welcome, among your work-mates ? Was she welcomed, on her return visit, more warmly than you were, when you returned ? Ot appropriately for someone who was a pleasant co-woeker for a few months ?
Woman's comments are thoughtful, wise and useful.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ..... | 2009-09-29

I know excatly what you talking about, last year Oct i went for my maternity leave and came in Feb... everyone was so nasty,pushing me to resign, but I just pretend that I don' t see anything until now, now I am afrad to have anothe baby coz somebody might take my job, and make look like failure.

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Posted by: Woman | 2009-09-29

You know, it sucks going back to work, leaving your baby with someone else. And to feel so threatened is a complication in your life you just don' t need at the moment. You know, it' s not often a temp finds a match in a company, and obviously they will hope that you might prolong your leave or even resign. But she doesn' t begrudge you your job. She just made friends.

Why don' t you try instead to think of it this way: She made sure everything was done and done well in your absence. You could have gotten one who screwed up all your work and you could have had to do crisis management instead. Wish her well, buy her a thank you box of chocolates and next time she comes by, give it to her. And make sure you write in a note how grateful you are that she kept your job done well and that, when next you go on holiday you will call her again.

That will show her that you have everything well in hand again. Your job is important because you look after your baby, concentrate on your job and your baby and not on that, it is not important... Oh and if you have to take an anti depressive for a couple of months, so be it. Soon everything will look up, good luck :)

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