Our expert says:
Divorce support expert
for a start, I wouldn't underestimate any threats! It doesn't take much for a threat to become real. You owe it to yourself and your son to be assured that you are safe. Safety is a primary need and if you can't meet that need you won't be able to move on to regain a sense of happiness and belonging.
Also his threats and his attitude towards your son do not show that he is a responsible parent and I wouldn't let him alone with his son. He needs to talk to someone and understand that whatever emotions he has towards you should not affect his relationship towards his child. It is of utmost importance that parents going through the turmoil of a separation understand their role as parents shouldn't change after the breakup. However you say that he didn't support his child while you were together, which is a sign of his irresponsibility.
First seek safety. Legally and personally. Ask friends, family, a close colleague, anyone you feel close to. Report the threats to the authority. Focus on your son's needs and do not bad mouth his dad. Situations like yours cannot be dealt by yourselves. The father of your child needs to see that you are protecting yourself and he must be willing to handle his emotions for the sake of his child. If you cannot communicate with him then it will have to happen through professional person.
I wish you all the best.
Nadia | The South African Divorce Support Association
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