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Question
Posted by: grace | 2011/06/22

Baby I love you but we have to end this

He ended our relationship and told me he thinks he does not know what he wants because he is getting all the good treated any man will wish for.
He told me he rather end this before he hurts me. He thinks he is not meant to have a relationship. I swallowed my pride and begged him not to end this of which he changed his mind. I am not over this I am not over what happened I am really scared. I love him. What was his motives. I will me on this site to read your comments and answer your questions

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like he has hurt you so as not to hurt you ? I don't understand the idea of anyone being "not meant to have a relationship". Nobody can tell you his motives but he, and maybe he doesn't yet understand himself. It would be wise to see a couples counsellor together and enable you each to understand yourselves and each other, far better than you apparently do thus far. This is not aas a form of superglue to bind you two together, but to enable you to make a wiser and better informed decision
If someone needs to be begged to stay, they are not worth having to stay.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lee | 2011/06/23

Good going Grace. Do some fun stuff. For yourself. Live it up a little. You deserve it. Perhaps one day he will get it out of his system but you don''t already want to be married to a guy who then still feels that he needs his freedom and is not relationship material. This is hard but that would be even harder.
You''ll be a survivor
You got along without him before you met him, you''ll get along without him now
To the left to the left, everything you own in the box to the left....
It''s not for nothing that these songs were sung. So many of us have someone who wanted to move on/didn''t want us. We just dont have to be the ones begging for the crumbs. We too can move on. And being happy (even pretending - later it becomes a reality) and looking good is the best revenge.

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Laurei | 2011/06/22

Could he not possibly be in the " closet"  like so many married men or committed men in heterosexual relationships. They fight against it for a while, but in the end they hurt the unsuspecting wife/husband.
Good Luck, I pray that God give you strength

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: grace | 2011/06/22

Today is the day I think i must just let him go I cannot live like this. I cannot keep wondering why he said what he said to me. it hurts but i have to let him go i cannot continue like this. Why should I beg?

Reply to grace
Posted by: Beeeeee | 2011/06/22

I totally agree with Lee. It is convenient to have you there.

I think that you are not his 1st priority... if he states that he is not " relationship material"  then maybe his friends and partying (basically his freedom) is more important.

I don''t want to give you false hope, but I was in the same boat and I am married to the guy now. Why? because I stopped begging and moved on with my life. It was when he lost me that he realised the he wants me. It is a huge risk, though.

If you are single again you are also free to meet other guys and maybe, just maybe you meet someone else soon and think back
to your posting today and realise that you are better of.

Best of luck!!! keep your chin up!





Reply to Beeeeee
Posted by: Lee | 2011/06/22

Baby I love WHAT you do for me but I dont REALLY love you I love MYSELF.
If he is still with you it''s because it''s convenient for now.
Sorry, Baby. Do yoga, art class, join a social club, running club. Anything - just dont be desperate. Maybe he''ll come back, maybe he won''t but by that time you may have moved on.

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Real | 2011/06/22

Some men are, unfortunately, like that. They think they don''t intend to hurt you but in the end that''s what happens. Makes me think of R Kelly''s song titled " How do I tell her" .

Reply to Real
Posted by: grace | 2011/06/22

I am just too scared to be lonely again after being so lonely for 5 years

Reply to grace
Posted by: W | 2011/06/22

it does not make sense, there must be a reason he wants to leave you? I am sorry to say but you wasting your time, men lie all the time in order not to " hurt"  the woman...

Reply to W
Posted by: grace | 2011/06/22

I have asked him over and over and i told him if leaving me will make him happy i will try to be happy for him. and he kept on and on by saying he loves me and all that he needs is to walk away from me because he thinks he is not meant to be in a relationships he thinks by being with me he is hurting me.his words were " BABY I LOVE YOU BUT I HAVE TO LEAVE YOU I HAVE TO RECHARGE I HAVE EVERTHING THAT I NEED WITH YOU BUT I CANNOT BE WITH YOU SORRY BABES I AM REALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND HAPPY BUT I CANNOT BE WITH YOU ANYMORE" 

Reply to grace
Posted by: W | 2011/06/22

Be gracefull Grace :)

Reply to W
Posted by: W | 2011/06/22

You begged him to stay bacause you are human.

Ask him if he honestly feels he will be happier without you and if he feels he rather wants to move on you will not stop him as you want him to be happy, him staying with you will only end up in more heartache for you both later on...

As much as it hurts you have to be " the big girl"  here, you will be proud of yourself later. It may open his eyes later on too if he really does love you.

Reply to W
Posted by: fifi | 2011/06/22

actualy he is in love with someone and he is afraid to tell you. If i were you i will move on. If something come out he will remind you that i told you that we must separate and y said no. When one window is closed many windows are open

Reply to fifi
Posted by: Shnoodle | 2011/06/22

he will do it again.

Reply to Shnoodle
Posted by: grace | 2011/06/22

We are still together after the begging and I am saying to myself WHY DID I HAVE TO BEG??????????When he calls me and say I love you I dont trust him anymore and I am scared he is going to do it again. thank you W

Reply to grace
Posted by: W | 2011/06/22

Grace Dear I am so sorry you are hurting, I know the pain and I know how hard it is to let go and be strong. But you absolutely have to, DO NOT beg him to stay as much as it hurts whe he leaves. His made his choice I''m afraid nothing you say or do is going take back what he said to you its done. Your life needs to take another path now.

It will get better the pain will ease in time.

Reply to W
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/22

Sounds like he has hurt you so as not to hurt you ? I don't understand the idea of anyone being "not meant to have a relationship". Nobody can tell you his motives but he, and maybe he doesn't yet understand himself. It would be wise to see a couples counsellor together and enable you each to understand yourselves and each other, far better than you apparently do thus far. This is not aas a form of superglue to bind you two together, but to enable you to make a wiser and better informed decision
If someone needs to be begged to stay, they are not worth having to stay.

Reply to cybershrink

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