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Question
Posted by: Angry mother(baby mama) | 2012/05/04

Baby daddy

I feel i need help to let all the hurt go,i try to find comfort in the word of God but once i talk to baby daddy the anger just comes back.I did post a while back when i was pregnant make that 1year 7 months ago.
We had our fights when pregnant,He was emorionally abusive and threatened suicide evrytime we fight.
Our first baby he forced me to abort saying he doesnt want the baby.I know i should have left then but i thought he needs me.I always feel sorry for him.He could only confide in me.Problem is he ws hardly there for me.When i in pain he would turn it all around and make it all about him.We had our good times but i felt the bad aoutweighet the good.When i got pregnant second time it got worse from leaving me even when i am sick and go clubbing with buddies.Telling me how He is always broke since he met me< how i cant cook that like his mom.He started makeing me feel smalll and worthless and that i am nothing without him.I moved out and when i did i was heavily pregnant and not even once did he beg me to stay.His friends tried talking to him but he wanted nothing of me,I even remember jumping out of his car on the high way feeling i cant take it.
But i did manage to pull through.I met a wonderful man who was there for me > Thhe loving things he did for me and my baby while preg even now.I dont know what i have done to deserve him.He is still here 2years later and want to marry me> 
I am happy with him.
BUt why am i still sooo angry at baby daddy.
Iwent to visit a friend where babydaddy stays(same area)i didnt want to look bitther so i caled him to come see our son.Mind you He made another girl pregnant while i was still pregnant but after i moved out.He came and stayed few mins and our son doesnt know him.As usual, he left and went drinking withnhis friend.He last saw our baby last year June.We left.Later he cals saying he thought we were going to sleep over at the friend and i am thinking so he wanted to come back 11 pm to bond with the baby.Today he cals asking me when am i bringing the baby.I just hung up.i am ffffuming.Mind you our son stays away an hour away.He cant drive there and see him but he can go spend it on booze and clubing.
My heart just breaks.i gave him so many chances to make it all rite but he keep hurting me.His family called me swearing me when pregnant saying this baby isnt his and he was denying her too and still i forgave him.But he cant make time and thinks i should take a taxi to bring baby or my boyfriend drive me to him> How do i let all the bitterness go..I dont want to live like this as i might spoil what i have ow because this man realy loves us and i dont want to hurt him because i am still very angry.He goes around telling people i never let him see his baby as we moved to out hometown whcih is 5 hours drive which is a lie.Anything to make him look good

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I dont remember God actually recognizing or recommending Baby Daddy's or Baby Mamas. You're obviously a really nice person, but shouldn't feel sorry for him. A man who impregnates a woman, mistreats her during pregnancy, then forces her to have an abortion, doesn't deserve respect, let alone pity.
Someone who threatens suicide every time you fight is a moral and emotional blackmailer, too. Also not a respectable occupation.
Apparently everything has to be about him, and nobody needs a companion like that. You are well rid of him, and so is your child. He is not fit to be a good father. He sounds about as much of a child as your baby son, with the big difference that your boy will grow up, and become a fine man, and his daddy probably wont.
Cut him out of your life, and get on with your life with the guy who genuinely loves you. Ignore what this little man says. YOu're right about the importance, NOT of "forgiving him" which a foolish idea though popular, but of freeing yourself from the anger and bitterness which at present ties you to him and leaves you vulnerable to further manipulation from him.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2012/05/07

Why have a baby with a man that you are not married to ?? I just do not understand this.........

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/04

I dont remember God actually recognizing or recommending Baby Daddy's or Baby Mamas. You're obviously a really nice person, but shouldn't feel sorry for him. A man who impregnates a woman, mistreats her during pregnancy, then forces her to have an abortion, doesn't deserve respect, let alone pity.
Someone who threatens suicide every time you fight is a moral and emotional blackmailer, too. Also not a respectable occupation.
Apparently everything has to be about him, and nobody needs a companion like that. You are well rid of him, and so is your child. He is not fit to be a good father. He sounds about as much of a child as your baby son, with the big difference that your boy will grow up, and become a fine man, and his daddy probably wont.
Cut him out of your life, and get on with your life with the guy who genuinely loves you. Ignore what this little man says. YOu're right about the importance, NOT of "forgiving him" which a foolish idea though popular, but of freeing yourself from the anger and bitterness which at present ties you to him and leaves you vulnerable to further manipulation from him.

Reply to cybershrink

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