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Posted by: Momdearest | 2011/11/14

baby daddy

hi all.from when i was preg doc has been helping me with advises and id like to thank him and everyone one else.We all need someone to talk to.Even beter when they dont know you,meaning they wont go around teeling everyone you know how miserale you are.:)
Now my daughter is 1year and i moved on and very happy with mypartner.just to go back babydaddy was emotionaly abusive and a drinker evry weekend and he didnt come to see our daughter more than 10 times since birth though she lives an hour away.A friend js told me his girlfriend is due for birth anytime from now.I didnt take it well.my heart is sore.Is it normal ?Doing the calculations she fell pregnant when i was considering taking him back when he was trying to get us back,which he still does though i told him im not coming back.but this thing still hurts me.mxm

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The abuser was a loser, and you are well rid opf him. Make certain that you go to maintenance court and get a court order forcing him to pay maintenance for the child's benefit. if he can't be bothered to visit her, then he's a feeble excuse for a man, and she is probably better off without his visits.
Feel sorry for his new gf who is so likely to also be abused by this feeble guy. Its understandable that you feel upset, but recognize that you have freed yourself from at least one unpleasant person who causes problems for others, and he is now troubling others. He was a bad habit, and it takes time to fully get rid of a bad habit, but keep working on that.
I just hope your new guy is good for you both - its not usualyl wise to rush into another relationship too soon after any breakup

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/11/16

The abuser was a loser, and you are well rid opf him. Make certain that you go to maintenance court and get a court order forcing him to pay maintenance for the child's benefit. if he can't be bothered to visit her, then he's a feeble excuse for a man, and she is probably better off without his visits.
Feel sorry for his new gf who is so likely to also be abused by this feeble guy. Its understandable that you feel upset, but recognize that you have freed yourself from at least one unpleasant person who causes problems for others, and he is now troubling others. He was a bad habit, and it takes time to fully get rid of a bad habit, but keep working on that.
I just hope your new guy is good for you both - its not usualyl wise to rush into another relationship too soon after any breakup

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Liza | 2011/11/15

It hurts - but the fact that the gf is almost due does mean that you made the right decision by leaving him. It seems like you haven''t made it clear that the relationship is definitely over though. Do yourself a favor and cut all contact. Don''t phone him, don''t sms him - nothing (excluding serious matters regarding your daughter). If someone wants to tell you something about him - tell them that you''re not interested. And keep telling yourself that too. If he contacts you for any reason except wanting to see his daughter, tell him immediately that the contact is not acceptable and unless it''s about the little one, he should leave you alone. By the fifth time he''ll get the message. Sometimes rudeness is the only way to get through to some people. So don''t spare his feelings. He didn''t spare yours...

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Good Advice | 2011/11/15

Only 9 m0nths ago you were thinking of continuing a relationship with your childs father. But you already have a new partner!
This is far 2 soon, you should be concentrating on your baby.
Take a break from dating and concentate in providing finacially and emotionally for your child.

Also l hope you have obtained a legal maintenance order from the father..........

Remember you are a mother now , it is not just about you.

Reply to Good Advice

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