Our expert says:
You can't have it both ways. Either you say at home and care for your child every day, or you need some help - a creche, a hired nanny, or a family member like mom-in-law. If being in control is so important to you, you'd need to move to the first option. Otherwise mom-in-law sounds like a fair option. And talk between you and choose what name you would all prefer the child to use for the person who it seems does do most of the mothering she receives, as Purple suggests. She has to call the nice lady SOMETHING. By all means limit Ma or Mom to yourself, but also don't over-interpret childish babbling sounds with all the heavier concepts we adults tie to some words.
And don't give up on discipline - the child can lose respect for someone who lets her get away with everything. What is very important is that as a family you draw up the basic rules and consequences of discipline so she meets the same rules and consequences with mom-in-law as with you.
Am I understanding that Mom-in-law looks after the child at your home through the week, and goes to her own home at weekends, leaving the child in your care ? And presumably the child should be in your primary care each evening and night ?
And relax. You're not being "robbed of your motherhood" Why do you so dread a good creche ?
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