Our expert says:
Grief is never easy, and some forms are harder than others, including exactly your experience. It is normal to feel the range of reactions you describe, but unpleasant, and counselling can help one to work through this more effectively and efficiently. One never forgets the child ( sometimes, we cling to our grief as though it might be insulting to the child to stop severe grieving ) --- but one moves on to something far better to remember with joy rather than pain. You may also find it useful to find out if there is within reach a branch of the organization The Compassionate Friends, which gathers and helps people who have lost a child at any age.
Personally, I recommend some counselling before trying for another pregnancy. Sometimes the new pregnancy brings relief and happiness from rthe start ; sometimes, though, if one hasn't sufficiently worked through the grief, parents can hesitate to love the new infant for fear of losing it, too, and that's not ideal for a child
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