Posted by: wayne | 2012-11-12

Attraction at work

I am married but attracted to a beautiful girl at work. There is so much of mutual attraction between us. I want to hold her and kiss her when i see her. How do i stop these thoughts? Nothing physical has happened so far except we chat from time to time.

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Our expert says:
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"Attraction" is never enough to receive serious attention, especially when, as in this case, its a married person feeling "attracted" to someone other than their spouse. Stop chatting to her, and avoid contact except when absolutely required by your job. If you have a lot of time to think and fantasize about kissing her, you're obviously not busy enough in your job - rather take on some extra tasks ( which may impress people and help you get promotion ) and when your thoughts drift to her, go for a walk ( in the opposite direction! ) and maybe call your wife.
Consider personal counselling to work out why you're now feeling so sadly in need of an ego boost by such tantasies, and consider marriage counselling to enhance your marriage.
If you move further into this "attraction", nothing can come of it other than hurt for everyone involved, especially the innocent wife and children and family.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Victim | 2012-11-19

Danksy mense soos jy,vertrou ek nie my man nie.Jou vrou verdien jou nie.Sy verdien beter.As jy eers aan ander vroue kan dink of fantiseer maak sy nie saak.Ek belowe jou dis nie lank voor jy gaan cheat.Hou eerder jou oe op jou vrou.Ek hoop sy vind uit van die hele storie,voor dit te laat is.

Mag jy kry wat jou toekom!!!!

Reply to Victim
Posted by: Liza | 2012-11-12

You know it''s a terrible idea to cheat on your wife? You know it''s an even worse idea to sleep with a colleaugue? (Pity universities don''t have a Common Sense 101 module)

So next time you think about kissing her, also think about losing your job due to either sexual harassment, or losing your job due to a nasty breakup with this paragon of beauty and attractiveness.

It''s not wrong to have these kinds of feelings. It is wrong to act on these feelings. So you decide - do you want to act on these feelings and potentially cause MAJOR problems in your life? Or are you going to refuse to act on these feelings and live honorably instead? Only you can make this decision...

Good luck,

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Romany | 2012-11-12

You are confusing lust with attraction. You probably will not take any of the advice you will get on this Forum from CS or the other readers, but for what it is worth.... step away! Distance yourself from this situation. Nothing good can come of this on a long-term basis.
You will loose your family and you will be dissatisfied and bored with this " attraction"  sooner than you think and then you will be alone and there will be no turning back.
Your wife will diviorced you after much pain and tears and she will find a man to respect her, be faithfull to her and love her. You will be alone. Consider the consequences and decide if it is worth it. One thing is for sure. YOU WILL GET CAUGHT

Reply to Romany

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