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Question
Posted by: Nessa | 2010/02/03

attracted to older man

Hi , I am a 48yo coloured lady, unable to have kids + divorced 12 yrs. I am told that I am attractive for my age. I do have a good figure Although I have friends life is lonely without a male friend. In our church our choirmaster is a 64yo divorced white man. He is a lovely person + is quite friendly with me. But I' ve really got the hots for him. When he comes near me I go all flushy + my heart beat increases. I would love him to date me but it does' nt seem right to ask him. He does definately take notice of me but I' m too shy to spell it out how I feel about him. Although I feel silly like a teenager in love 4 the first time I desperately want to go out with him. He has all the qualities I look for in a man. What route do U suggest I take?. I really do want him. I' ve got it bad.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Nessa,

Finding yourself emotionally and/or physically attracted to a person,even a crush and desiring an intimate relationship has no age limit. It sounds from your description that there is potentially a mutual attraction and interest here. You find many couples with a significant age difference having successful relationships.

I would suggest you consider letting him know clearly you are interested and see how he responds.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Charlene | 2010/02/09

Church is a very good place 2 meet people. I was in my mid 40' s lonely, miserable after a nasty divorce + my 2 kids overseas. I decided 2 go back 2 church, got out my violin again + re-joined the choir + orchestra. There I met the love of my life (now my 2nd husband) also a choir member + chelloist in the orchestra. Our mutual love of music immediately gave us a common interest. The rest just followed naturally + 7 mths later got married. Married 9 yrs now + love every moment of it. We r both still involved in the music in the congregation.

Reply to Charlene
Posted by: D | 2010/02/08

Nessa, let us talk you and me. I know what and who u want. I am also a chior master.

Reply to D
Posted by: D | 2010/02/08

Nessa, let us talk you and me. I know what and who u want. I am also a chior master.

Reply to D
Posted by: Lady | 2010/02/04

I like Bozo' s suggestion keep it simple - take the pressure off and things will go smoothly. Age is really nothing like most other readers said. My fiance is 18yrs older than me and we have a wonderful realtionship& understanding! :)
Good Luck - let us know how it goes.

Reply to Lady
Posted by: just a man | 2010/02/04

NESSA I Think its so cool that you would find that gent attractive , i only wish and hope there are more woman like you out there, i have just turned 50 and feel like iam still in my 30s. iam not a Brad Pitt ,but have really looked after myself but when iam driving or alone at any function i find myself hiding away from the crowds ,so well done to you for not thinking you are to good for him and please let him know how you feel ,you will make his [not day] whole life worth while living.

Reply to just a man
Posted by: A man | 2010/02/04

I think it' s best to let him know how you feel, you may find he feels the same way and is too shy to say so.

Reply to A man
Posted by: Woman | 2010/02/04

It' s a very daunting thing for anyone of any age to gauge interest from the opposite sex. Why don' t you invite him to lunch in a public place, that way, you can always discuss the people (if there are uncomfortable silences) and it' s easy to leave if it just doesn' t work.

Be very calm about it, just say:"  Hey, how about lunch next Tuesday?" 

The older we get, the less age matters, so I wouldn' t worry too much about that, and from what I' ve heard, older men can be very virile  )

Reply to Woman
Posted by: XXX | 2010/02/04

Age should not be an obstacle,simply start off slowly and ask him out for coffee etc.
My wife is 17years my junior and we are very happy together.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Bozo | 2010/02/04

Keep it simple, and invite him for tee and cake, Then take it from there.

Reply to Bozo
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/02/04

Dear Nessa,

Finding yourself emotionally and/or physically attracted to a person,even a crush and desiring an intimate relationship has no age limit. It sounds from your description that there is potentially a mutual attraction and interest here. You find many couples with a significant age difference having successful relationships.

I would suggest you consider letting him know clearly you are interested and see how he responds.

Reply to Sexologist

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