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Posted by: CONCERNED WIFE | 2010/10/07

ATTN: CYBERDOC AND WOMAN RE - POST 993

Thanks CD for the device. I''ve made contact with a pshyciatrist who can do the assessment and propose treaatment, and we have an appointment for tomorrow.

My question is now, because he does not talk easily, do I go with him to his appointment, or do I leave him to do this on his own. Do I phone the pshyciatrist before hand to give her some background, or do I just leave it. I need for him to get help, and the fact that he has agreed to see a pshyciatrist (which is a huge victory) means that he realizez that he needs to get help, but I don''t want to appear overbearing and treat him like a child and make him feel even more inadequate.

WOMAN: Thank you for sharing with me. I already feel like I''m not alone now, although I''ve been " alone"  for a very long time. It is just such a huge relief for me tht there is finally a reasization by him that his " behaviour"  is cause for concern. I say behaviour in inverted commas, as he is genuinely a good man and a wonderful husband and father, and I have been truly blessed having him in my life for 34 years, but it destroys me when I see how he struggles socially (to the point that he is almost a recluse barre for his work), and emotionally with stress and anxiety.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You could not attend his session with any health profession without his agreement, so why not ask him how he feels about this ? Congratulate him on his enormous good sense in deciding to see a psychiatrist - ask if it would help for you to go with him just for moral support - or if he'd like you to also see the shrink for part of the time, to provide any extra details tha might be helpful. Remind him of the nice things you say about him here, emphasizing that youi feel proud of him for this decision, and want to help in any way he would find acceptable

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Woman | 2010/10/07

Hi there, I find myself nodding at everything you write. My husband too, is an absolute gem. I love him fully and absolutely. He also has great trouble socially, he feels inept and uncomfortable and is aware of and embarrassed by his ineptness, He has a degree of Asperger''s (which is a quite normal thing for people with ADHD)

Dark &  reclusive moods are also normal, but I have, as I am sure you too, learnt to work with it. It is still the most difficult for me when he withdraws emotionally for days where he''s almost physically distant. I have learnt to be very straightforward with him regarding his actions etc, and he speaks to his psych when he feels ready. He also goes to gym at least 4x a week. That helps too. He needs verbal and physical assurance often and he feels rejection very keenly. Al familiar I suppose...

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/07

You could not attend his session with any health profession without his agreement, so why not ask him how he feels about this ? Congratulate him on his enormous good sense in deciding to see a psychiatrist - ask if it would help for you to go with him just for moral support - or if he'd like you to also see the shrink for part of the time, to provide any extra details tha might be helpful. Remind him of the nice things you say about him here, emphasizing that youi feel proud of him for this decision, and want to help in any way he would find acceptable

Reply to cybershrink

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