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Question
Posted by: Bee | 2010/02/25

Attention all adopted females

Hi all

I am an adopted child and my husband an I are talking about starting a family soon.

Since I can remeber I had the belief that I won''t be able to have children one day, ridiculous I know, but probably because my adoptive mom could not have children.

I go to the gynae regularly and have had no problems whatsoever.

Please let me know if my fears are normal and how do you go about relaxing and not stressing about it when we strat trying to conceive? everyone always says ''don''t stress'' but how don you not stress?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand how you could form such an emotional concern, even i there's really no factual basis for it. Obviously an adoptive mom is rather likely to be unable to have children of her own, which is why she would adopt. But whatever the reason for thet inability, would for the same reason of adoption, not possibly have been passed on to you, and couldn't affect your own fertility at all.
Yes, people so easily say "Don't Stres !" - and it it was actually quite that easy, they'd have no need to even say it. Some counselling of the CBT form could help you to learn to unlearn this bad habit of holding so firmly to a negative and inaccurate bad expectation. And within yourself, recognize that you are sabotaging your own wish to have children, by assuming the worst before even really trying - worrying before the event, is like paying NEXT year's rent as well as this years.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/25

I understand how you could form such an emotional concern, even i there's really no factual basis for it. Obviously an adoptive mom is rather likely to be unable to have children of her own, which is why she would adopt. But whatever the reason for thet inability, would for the same reason of adoption, not possibly have been passed on to you, and couldn't affect your own fertility at all.
Yes, people so easily say "Don't Stres !" - and it it was actually quite that easy, they'd have no need to even say it. Some counselling of the CBT form could help you to learn to unlearn this bad habit of holding so firmly to a negative and inaccurate bad expectation. And within yourself, recognize that you are sabotaging your own wish to have children, by assuming the worst before even really trying - worrying before the event, is like paying NEXT year's rent as well as this years.

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