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Question
Posted by: U | 2010/08/23

at wits end

Hi,

I have been in a stable relationship for the past 18 months. We moved in together about a year ago. Everything is fine most of the time. However she has these terribl mood swings, out of the blue, for things i cannot for the life of me see why. recent example : i submitted my brothers girlfriends cv at work and she got the job. all i did was hand in the cv, nothing more. this is however an issue, my fiance claims family should not work together, i would understand her sentiments, however i would maybe see my brothers gf once a week at work. different departments etc. however when i attempted to ge my fiance a job at my previous work (also different departments) she had no problem with that. I do feel (and i may be wrong) that whatever i do isnt good enough. I try to bend over backwards to be accomodating, and sometimes say sorry about something just to avoid an argument. when i dont back down from an argument i get silent treatment and bad moods for days. when i ask something small to be done for me she " forgets" . i am at wits end :(

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, puzzling mood swings are hardly the basis for a "stable" relaionship. Her objection to the job issue sounds illogical and selfish. Its a healthy thing in a relatonship when BOTH parties are prepared to be flexible and avoid unnecessary conflict - where only one of the pair has to be always accomodating, that's les of a relationship and more of a master-servant set-up.
Why exactly do you think you ought to put up with this selfishness and unreasonableness on her side ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Lauren | 2010/08/23

That''s why I think 18 months is too early to be moving in together. You really can''t know everything / enough about a person in such a short time, despite what people say. I''ll tell you what I think her problem is- insecurity. Yes, it''s just your brothers girlfriend, but that really doesn''t make a difference to some girls and your girlfriend must be holding onto that. You see, it''s not enough that you love her enough to move in with her- now she''s probably thinking now that you''ve been domesticated, you''re going to get bored with her and cheat. So that makes one paranoid and insecure and irrational. You either need to step back and take it slower or completely bring your relationship to a stop, depending on the severity of the situation. Or talk to her and ask her to be completely honest with you about WHY she''s acting like this. You know, maybe it''s the other way around...

Reply to Lauren
Posted by: simple | 2010/08/23

leave the biatch.

Reply to simple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/23

Well, puzzling mood swings are hardly the basis for a "stable" relaionship. Her objection to the job issue sounds illogical and selfish. Its a healthy thing in a relatonship when BOTH parties are prepared to be flexible and avoid unnecessary conflict - where only one of the pair has to be always accomodating, that's les of a relationship and more of a master-servant set-up.
Why exactly do you think you ought to put up with this selfishness and unreasonableness on her side ?

Reply to cybershrink

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