advertisement
Question
Posted by: AMITY | 2011-08-26

AT MY WITS END

Hi DOC
I have recently become involved with a divorced man with 2 children, his ex is constantly harrases him either by phone or by black berry messenger, she tells him she wishes he would die and he doesnt even get upset just takes in his stride, i told him to delete her off his messenger and if she wants to get hold of him she can phone him or text him, he hasnt done anything yet. He met her for lunch the othe day he told he me he was somewhere else she phoned me and told me, when i confronted him he said he did have lunch with her but didnt want to upset me, i feel i cant trust him, we hav spoken about it but i find in doubing his every move... he tells me me he doesnt love her she tells me he does but he is confused : (

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

His ex sounds like a horrible and vengeful person, and I'm surprised he hasn;'t changed his cell-number fod BBM contact details, except for one number on which they could communicated about the children when necessary. If she wishes him dead, one wonders why h would choose to lunch with her, or her with him.
Indeed he sounds confused, and more - but very clearly he is still too emotionally and otherwise involved with her, and not honestly available for a sincere and promising relationship with anyone else. And, indeed, how and why does she have your number, and why does he need to phone you ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-08-27

His ex sounds like a horrible and vengeful person, and I'm surprised he hasn;'t changed his cell-number fod BBM contact details, except for one number on which they could communicated about the children when necessary. If she wishes him dead, one wonders why h would choose to lunch with her, or her with him.
Indeed he sounds confused, and more - but very clearly he is still too emotionally and otherwise involved with her, and not honestly available for a sincere and promising relationship with anyone else. And, indeed, how and why does she have your number, and why does he need to phone you ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Anne | 2011-08-26

I have to agree with Maria. If he is not cutting her off, he is not over her. Also, why does she have your number, and why does she feel she needs to tell you what he is doing?

Also, lying to you about his whereabouts is extremely questionable. Was it really not to upset you, or does he really still have feelings for her and is just keeping his options open? Lying rings serious alarm bells in my head. How do you build trust with this man on lies?

He does not seem over his ex, and I think you are going to end up hurt if you give your heart to this man. He does not know what he wants

Reply to Anne
Posted by: Maria | 2011-08-26

Since you only recently got involved in with him and probably don''t have too much invested in the relationship yet, why continue with it? You cannot force the man to reduce the role his ex plays in his life, he must do that by himself. If he cannot or won''t, do you really want to stick around? They should really not need to communicate unless it is about the kids.

Reply to Maria

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement