Our expert says:
Hello again BT !
So pleased to hear that you feel you're getting a better grip on things and have found a doc you like working with. The other bad feelings will surely dwindle ; they've probably become something of a habit by now. I'm always concerned about "hidden trauma" theories, which are often damaging quackery, and am very pleased that your doc has sensibly decided to leave what's buried, buried.
Your feelings of anger are understandable, but no longer really useful. You may need to decide that though what she did was wrong, there's no point in pursuing that line if right now you miss her and if her presence in your life could NOW be of some comfort. She may well not have understood the effects o the decisions she made at that time. One must in some ways find it possible to close chapters of the past, otherwise one can't invest enopugh psychological energy in improving the present and the future.
I agree with your doc that there is no likely benefit from archeologically digging back to discover details of whatever may have happened ( and memories at this stage, of all concerned, are so unreliable that that is probably an impossinle aim, anyway ).
And in amongst all that taking care of others, remember to find time to take good care of yourself --- you're so well worth it !
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