Our expert says:
Er-Hem ! I don't sit here to judge people, and I need to read every posting ! However, I know there are some readers who simply seem to seek opportunities to judge others.
Do remember that "the one that got away", the lost love, has the perfect opportunity to grow in perfection in your memory, and has not had any opportunity to reveal any less desirable characteristics over the years - they have not even burped in your presence.
SO be cautious about idealizing and magnifying a happy memory, or allowing it to rival and diminish the very real and genuine love you have in your life at present.
You cannot go back and do things differently - you cannot step twice into the same river, because the water has flowed on and it isn;t the same as it once was.
You are not the woman you were in those days, and he is certainly not the same man you think you remember.
Unless there were relatively unusual gynae complications at the time of your earlier abortion, this is not likely to cause fertility problems at present, but a gynaecologist could assess this possibility and discuss it with you.
COnsider personal counselling to sort out your confused thinking about this idealized former relationship, and later maybe marriage counselling with your husband. You CAN help how you choose to feel about the fantasy man from the past, and a counsellor / psychotherapist can help you to review, assess and usefully change those assumptions you are insisting on living with.
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