Our expert says:
You're probably right in your assessment of this guy - to propose mariage too early in a relatonship suggests insecurity and an element of desperation. And surely you need and deserve someone stable and calm and secure ?
You are absolutely right not to want to rush into such things. With a hearing coming up in October, you want to be, and be seen to be, stable and calm and capable, and his involvement with them at this stage is unliely to be helpful.
Just explain calmly to him that you have ben through very difficult times, and need some calm time alone to finish working through these ; and that you need to face the ordeal of the case involving your children, without any other complications in another relationship just then. You could comment that while you need a good friend at this stage, one who would understand when you needed time alone, you don't need a lover or any more complicated or demanding relationship at this time. Explain that you are confident that he is genuine enough and sensible enough, to recognize that you need this, and to be understanding and helpful in this way
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