Posted by: Magda | 2009-08-31

Assistance please

What seemed as a game normally ended up in me getting a hiding form my dad when I was a little girl as he caught me and my neigbours son fooling around. The neighbours son sexual abused kept on for years to come till the age of 14. When we moved away. I never told my parents as I was too scared of the after facts. I have build a wall around myself and it is difficult to speak out even now in my marraige. I lash out on my kids even if the smallest gesture is innocent and I dont make friends very easily. I keep everything inside till it feels as if a volcano wants to errupt. Things between me and my husband does not feel at all well as I tend to blame and find fault everywhere. He does not spend enough time with us as his work puts alot of stress on him and sometimes he has to work from home till the late hours of the evening. I also struggle with my weight since my marriage 8 years ago and is now insulin resistant. How can I become a better person and look the world in the face?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its rather normal and common for kids to experiment and explore sexually with on another, and this isn't always considered to be abuse, as usually both parties are willing and curious. Better sex education in the family is the best safeguard against anything untoward happening in this regard. Are you saying that after your father caught you with the boy, you and the boy continued such games or whatever for some years, until the ag of 14 ? Were you a reasonably willing participant ? Or did he have some way of making you do whatever he wanted ?
Whatever happened does seem to have continued to bother you, in terms of issues of intimacy and relationships, and discussing this with a good CBT-oriented counsellor or therapist might be useful. Avoid any psychoanalytically oriented counsellor or therapist like the plague. But with a rational and effective method like CBT, you could sort this out and reain pleasurable control of your life and relationships

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Magda | 2009-08-31

Thanks for the reply. Well this boy had a way of making me do things that I did not want to do because I knew it was wrong. Yet I was too afraid to open my mouth about it. I have discussed it with my parents later in life and also with my husband due to me not wanting him to touch me at all. Things are better in a way.

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