Our expert says:
A somewhat complex picture, but this sounds like increasing and now disabling social anxiety, amongst some related conditions. It responds very well indeed to proper treatment, and there's no need for you to continue to suffer this degree of concern and limitation on your freedom to enjoy life. It is common and affects many people, and is in no way your fault, so don't feel ashamed or shy of talking about it.
Ask your parents to help, or your fiancee, if you cant do it entirely on your own, but DO, soon, arrange an appointment to see a good local psychiatrist for an initial assessment and a discussion of treatment options. Some medicines can help a good deal, and ideally, even more effectively, if they are combined with a particular form of counselling called CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ).
With this combination, you should soon be feeling much better, and becoming both more confident in talking to other people and taking charge of your life, but actually enjoying contacts with other people, and becming free to enter to world, take a job, or do anything else you wish
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