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Question
Posted by: ashamed | 2011/05/26

ashamed

I am 35 now...

At around 9 or 10 years old my mothers boyfriend started touching me this led to me doing sexual favours for him in turn for stuff like shoes, cloths, money etc this went on for many years...

I have not told anyone..

Does this make me the devils child, a slut, bad and ugly? Do I deserve to be happy?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It makes you none of the nasty things you list. None whatsoever. It makes you an unfortnate child who was molested by a wicked older person, and whose mother was apparently negligent and careless not to notice what was happening. They were adults, with an absolute duty both to do you no harm, and to protect you from harm.
Of course you absolutely deserve to be happy. None of that was your fault. Do see a good local psychologist for an assessment and counselling, to help you get things into perspective, enhance your self-esteem, and learn to love yourself as much as you deserve to be loved.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Caro:)line | 2011/05/26

I too was abused for many years as a child by my mother''s boyfriend. I took him to court many years after this and his lawyer had the audacity to say that I enjoyed it as I am successful and happy. I won the case because the judge was wise enough to ask others to imagine what I could have become if he hadn''t abused me or what other children''s potential is if they are not abused.
Once someone''s sexuality is awakened it cannot be stilled - that is how human beings are. For this reason, children should be protected by adults so that they can be children for as long as possible. This right was denied you and me. See a counsellor as the good shrink suggests. Forgive yourself. Do not give away any more power to the abuse now that you are an adult.

Reply to Caro:)line
Posted by: ashamed | 2011/05/26

Your words have freed me...

Reply to ashamed
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/26

It makes you none of the nasty things you list. None whatsoever. It makes you an unfortnate child who was molested by a wicked older person, and whose mother was apparently negligent and careless not to notice what was happening. They were adults, with an absolute duty both to do you no harm, and to protect you from harm.
Of course you absolutely deserve to be happy. None of that was your fault. Do see a good local psychologist for an assessment and counselling, to help you get things into perspective, enhance your self-esteem, and learn to love yourself as much as you deserve to be loved.

Reply to cybershrink

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