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Question
Posted by: Nicky | 2010/11/17

Aroused by what?

I am still left with a question in my mind. My hubby got very close to my helper who was holding our baby girl then he seemed aroused as his penis hardened suddenly. We were both playing with the baby. When he realised I noticed that, he quickly went to read a book. I quickly asked what his problem was and he told me he is not ready to talk about it.
He has still not said anything about that and I am still wondering what was happening. I don''t know what to do or think.

Should I be worried?
What could this be? Please advice

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

By the sound of it you are walking around worrying and still do not have any facts of what really happened. Your husband’s evasiveness to talk about the topic and that is not helping. It might be worth it for the two of you to seek professional assistance to deal with whatever is underlying this “behavior” or situation. If he is not willing to go with you it could still be valuable for you to go and see someone alone.


You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you that could help you to discuss the underlying concerns and find solutions. You can also visit our website: www.sexualhealth.co.za that could be helpful.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nicky | 2010/11/18

Thank you for all your responses. They opened up my mind and I have lessons learnt from this, just that I don''t know how far this goes, went or would go.
So I gather that I need to speak to him to establish and consolidate the facts then take it from there. *wish me luck*
From this, I also think the older the nanny the better it will be and then I just have to deal with the consequences of granny nannies asking me to do things for them :)
Thank you for the numbers. If talk fails or am not sorted after the talk, I''ll resort to consulting as I would like to move on with life and establish if there are any trust issues ''hanging''.

Reply to Nicky
Posted by: Thati | 2010/11/18

Why do you hire the younger ones, nna I go for bo gogo, make no mistake.

Reply to Thati
Posted by: Jubba | 2010/11/18

she does it better than you i guess

Reply to Jubba
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/11/18

By the sound of it you are walking around worrying and still do not have any facts of what really happened. Your husband’s evasiveness to talk about the topic and that is not helping. It might be worth it for the two of you to seek professional assistance to deal with whatever is underlying this “behavior” or situation. If he is not willing to go with you it could still be valuable for you to go and see someone alone.


You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you that could help you to discuss the underlying concerns and find solutions. You can also visit our website: www.sexualhealth.co.za that could be helpful.

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: wayne | 2010/11/17

He is bonking her finnish and klaar

Reply to wayne
Posted by: man | 2010/11/17

it could be that your husband is bonking your helper....and he was just caught without realising it. watch if he starts coming home early and leave the house later than usual

Reply to man
Posted by: Woman | 2010/11/17

Although it's a very old and boring story that too many men screw with the help - regardless of whether she raises his child, is his secretary, receptionist, waitress - there are men who use their positions of power to coerce women into going to bed with them.

There is no black &  white, there is just men and women. Off course you also get many women who would do anything - including sleep with the boss, to get a better position at work or money or jewels.

If your husband is sexually attracted to the help, discuss this with him in a calm rational manner to see if you can come to some kind of agreement. If he doesn't want to discuss (i.e. trust you with his feelings of attraction and guilt), then there is no other option than letting the help go.

Find her another position if you can, because it is really not her fault that your husband gets hard-ons around her.

This is also what women have done to protect their families throughout the ages. Not nice, not fair, but sometimes that is truly just life.
Good luck

Reply to Woman
Posted by: ?? | 2010/11/17

Who said she is white and who said the helper is black????

Reply to ??
Posted by: ma | 2010/11/17

Let it be man, you can't figure us out now, science tried but could not, it is not as if you caught him cheating, sometimes erections just occur and we try to calm it down it gets worse. You mentioned he has not said a word, could it be that he is embarrased, come on now, let go already.

Reply to ma
Posted by: DD2 | 2010/11/17

All i know is most white guys like black chicks they can pretend when they are with you guys but i always see them at the strip joints, and one day he's going to bonk your helper.

Reply to DD2
Posted by: Chris | 2010/11/17

Jy moet hom dophou, hy gaan jou helper nog spyker.

Reply to Chris
Posted by: XXX | 2010/11/17

It appears he got aroused by being close to your " helper" ,as long as he does not react to these feelings I wouldn''t worry about it.

Reply to XXX

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