Our expert says:
Thelma, all of these factors can play a role - the antidepressants for starters will have increased your orgasmic threshold (ie. take more stimulation to reach orgasm), but the fact that you're weaning off them means that normal functioning should resume once they're out of your system. That said, once anxiety about having an orgasm has kicked in, this could be keeping you focused on thoughts/wishes to orgasm, rather than focusing on sensation (which is what you need to be doing). The fact that he is not into foreplay will mean that you are not able to become aroused enough before penetration (and his orgasm). The distance could go either way - make it super exciting to see him, or build up pressue to perform - the latter will negatively effect orgasm.
Basics of sexual pleasure and excitement are : relaxation, pleasurable touch (you will need to guide him, and he will have to be patient to follow you), and focus on sensations (not thoughts) that are arousing. I encourage you to reinforce your confidence in your body's response by stimulating yourself - then perhaps you can show him...?
Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
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