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Question
Posted by: Liza | 2010/04/12

Are things really going well?

My Dad died on the 22nd of March. The funeral was on the 26th. I was sad and cried at the funeral, but when I woke up on the morning of the 27th, it felt like the whole world had been removed from my shoulders. My older sister has been very depressed since our dad went, but I feel great! I''m smiling, I have energy, my anxiety levels are way down and I can concentrate at work. Even when I think that perhaps this is a precursor to a manic episode, I forget the negative thought a second later because I just feel so great. And when I think of my Dad, my main emotion is relief that he doesn''t have to suffer anymore with a little sadness that he had to suffer for so long. But the sadness goes away quickly too. I''ve also had different people telling me that I look great. Like family who haven''t seen me in a while. Coping just seems so easy right now...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Yes and no. Depending on a complex mix of factors, there can be a period of feeling relief following a death. But the progress of grief is rarely smmothly uphill. And of course it can become more complex - you find you're feeling better - then feel guilty and bad for feeling better, and so on. To family who haven't seen you in a while, you may well look great ( greater than they remember, greater than they expected ) but that's not a reliable guide to how you are or will be ! Just as you're cautious in accepting the apparent ease and smoothness so far, accept any bumps on the road, and any returns of sadness and bad feelings, as similar part of a more complex pattern.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/12

Yes and no. Depending on a complex mix of factors, there can be a period of feeling relief following a death. But the progress of grief is rarely smmothly uphill. And of course it can become more complex - you find you're feeling better - then feel guilty and bad for feeling better, and so on. To family who haven't seen you in a while, you may well look great ( greater than they remember, greater than they expected ) but that's not a reliable guide to how you are or will be ! Just as you're cautious in accepting the apparent ease and smoothness so far, accept any bumps on the road, and any returns of sadness and bad feelings, as similar part of a more complex pattern.

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