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Question
Posted by: Ruth | 2011-05-10

Are men totally put off by a mother living with a woman?

I''m 46, attractive, look about 35, have a great job, am intelligent and my mother lives with me out of necessity.
Would it make the average man run a mile?
Or would he be interested and make a plan around it?
Be honest guys please.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sadly, it probably would. But maybe you'll find an above-average man ? Average Joe's sometimes find it hard to cope with even women with uncomplicated life situations. The attack on Average Man is uncalled-for. Liza's points are well-made.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Highly Eligible Man, also very solvent! | 2011-05-12

Even Mr Below Average would be unlikely to date such an unlikeable person as yourself!
But Romany sounds really great!

Ps if u r so great why are you insovent,living with your mum and single?

Reply to Highly Eligible Man, also very solvent!
Posted by: Ruth | 2011-05-12

None of you know anything about Insolvency, the process and what happens for 3 years after. Sort that out and you will understand and not ask non relevant questions.
I won''t apologise to average man because his " honesty"  is not sincere. He is looking for a perfect woman with a perfect life pretty much. An average guy doesn''t want what he perceives to be baggage but we are expected to take on impotence, their parents, their divorces, their kids, their drinking, their cheating, their opinions, their abuse of woman (yep that is the average man) - ask most average women. And thanks I am known for my caring and great personality. I''ve had 2 very long-term relationships and I ended them, one being an engagement. I asked a man I greatly admire this question and he said, no I would not put off at all. It is the woman I am after. I would arrange for the mom to be put into an old age home, but then again, he can afford to do that. As for my " wealth" , I earn a regular salary (R20 000pm) and the assets I have are " frozen"  for 3 years until after the Insolvency. No, I would not be put off by a man whose parent/parents live with him. I would admire him for taking care of them. Men are concerned with looks. My ex had an infantile stroke and walks with a slight limp. We broke up for other reasons. And yep his sister lived with us for 3 years very happily, so did him mom. Being honest does not mean avoiding the real issue. I''m looking for Mr. Above Average. LOL

Reply to Ruth
Posted by: Riomany | 2011-05-12

Oh and one more thing, I am 48 years old and I look 48 years old. I have an average job and don''t earn much !!

Reply to Riomany
Posted by: Romany | 2011-05-12

Hi Truth
I agree with you 100%.
However, if you have to answer the actual question this woman is asking (without all the " how good I look"  and " How rich I am"  Bullsh!t), ie " Would it make the average man run a mile?" 
I would have to say :" Yes, he would run a mile" 
There are so many single woman in that age category that men pretty much can pick and choose. Why would a man take on two women (one being the mother-in-law), if you are probably divorced, paying maintenance, have had enough hassles in your life etc etc.
I would love for Ruth to answer my question: I all honesty, would you consider dating (or more) a divorced man of 46 that has his mother dependant on him and living with him?

On the other hand, the only mother-in-law that I have ever known, is my one, the mother-in-law from hell and I get shivers down my spine if I think that she must come for a visit soon !!

Reply to Romany
Posted by: 51 Year old highly eligible man! | 2011-05-11

If u have shares , unit trusts etc why are you pleading poverty and shouting at your mom when she gives the dog some milk?

Reply to 51 Year old highly eligible man!
Posted by: ... | 2011-05-11

I wonder who told you that you look 35 and what is the relevance of your age to your post

Reply to ...
Posted by: Truth | 2011-05-11

Hi Romany
I do not think a depedant parent is the issue but the attitudes and drama/mess of this situation which are self imposed. I am sure there are very pleasant people out there living together in a good healthy way.
Unfortunately the personalities and situation is not the case in this instance. Anyone who got involved here would be complicating their lives to their detriment. A person could do better than get mixed up with this family.
She hasnt even apologised after asking for honest opinions!

Reply to Truth
Posted by: Romany | 2011-05-11

Hi Ruth
I all honesty, would you consider dating (or more) a divorced man of 46 that has his mother dependant on him and living with him?

I don''t think so.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Totally Honest Man | 2011-05-11

As CS said attack on average man was uncalled for. Can you please post an apology!

Also l agree with most replies that l would be put off by your mother and all your other issues. Perhaps you should forget about a partner until you have addressed all your problems. Most men who wanted to date a woman your age would have a huge pool of divorced,widowed,career woman to choose from. Having a mother at home who uses the f word is unacceptable to decent men. You enjoying being a martyr whilst your siblings take no responsibility because you do not go the legal route with funds to do so is mystifying.

I look forward to seeing your apology to Average Man.

Reply to Totally Honest Man
Posted by: Average Man | 2011-05-11

Hi Ruth
After your warm reply and obvious well prioritized financial skills/ descions l am reconsidering dating you! You are a real catch LOL

Reply to Average Man
Posted by: Truth | 2011-05-11

Maria is right your personality in not condusive to any man becoming romantically involved with you.
Maria is also correct in questioning why with all your assets you do not at least employ a lawyer to obtain assistance from your siblings? and find a suitable care arrangement?
Sell one of the cars and obtain legal advice, forget about love untill you have sorted this out.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: Liza | 2011-05-11

That would completely depend on the mother. The way you''ve described yours - I would have to guess Yes.

You ask people to be honest, yet you slam Average Man for giving you his opinion. In your previous posts you only mentioned the insolvency - not that you had been rehabilitated, so why be nasty in your reply? Perhaps it''s not your mother that are putting men off but your own personality! And if you''re so well off, why can''t you afford to send your mother to an old-age home?

Just my honest opinion...
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: K | 2011-05-11

yes, the average man would not be interested.

weird that you ask for honest answers but when one gives you it, you start being insulting?

not saying you will never get a partner, but Joe Average would prefer something less complicated

Reply to K
Posted by: K | 2011-05-11

yes, the average man would not be interested.

weird that you ask for honest answers but when one gives you it, you start being insulting?

not saying you will never get a partner, but Joe Average would prefer something less complicated

Reply to K
Posted by: Ruth | 2011-05-11

Hi Average Man

I was Insolvent Darling - I probably have more money than you since I have two paid up vehicles, unit trusts, shares and such like. It also costs about R300 000 cash to go insolvent and I doubt you could have come up with that.
Plus the siblings are not the concern I said they are out of our lives.
And as for the mom, well I can guess your attitude to any in-law.
I wouldn''t date you - you probably have a big boep and the highlight of your life is the Sunday rugby match and a braai.

Reply to Ruth
Posted by: Ginger | 2011-05-11

Ruth, ignore these immature men, they''re screaming LOSER. Anyways why would u be interested in men that are so shallow? It just goes to show how limited &  conditional their love is or rather they have absolutely no concept of love.

Reply to Ginger
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-05-11

Sadly, it probably would. But maybe you'll find an above-average man ? Average Joe's sometimes find it hard to cope with even women with uncomplicated life situations. The attack on Average Man is uncalled-for. Liza's points are well-made.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Average Man | 2011-05-10

A 46 year old insolvent woman with a mother who will need financial support until she dies would not interest me. Also a partner with uncaring siblings and the fact that even the pro bono lawyers have given up on whould not seem like a good deal no matter how well the woman was aging ,how intelligent she was or how great her job was.

Reply to Average Man
Posted by: Man | 2011-05-10

Would run 2 miles!

Reply to Man

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