Posted by: BUMMER | 2011-06-14


HI DOCTOR im in my mid 30''s physically fit guy been married for 4 years the sex between my wife and i sucks completely she refuses to try new things and doesnt last long or cant keep up i love her but its affecting my marriage badly, twice or thrice temptation gave in where i have -|- ed other women and got the ultimate sex that i so desired but i still love my wife but i cannot go on in a no adventure marriage im considering out of the marriage what is your advice

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why not see a marriage counsellor / sex therapist, and work on improving this problem ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: bummer | 2011-06-21

you know what if u wanna help me add me on facebook ardeshir khosrow then you will know what i mean!!! you all making as if I am the bad guy

Reply to bummer
Posted by: Caren L | 2011-06-17

Sounds like your wife is avoiding sex with you... Did she maybe find out about your infedelities? If it was me finding out my partner cheaten on me with a FEW women, I wouldn''t want to do anything with him either. Maybe you should move away from the sex part a bit  buy her flowers, take her for a nice dinner  pay for a body massage at a spa  buy her a new dress ets...In short, try to make her feel wanted and see what happens. If you show her she''s appreciated, maybe she be more open to sex?
Sometimes women don''t want to be used just for sex...There is much more to a marriage than sex. I am 40 and my partner is 55. Due to medical difficulty we cannot have sex at all for the past year or so. It''s difficult getting used to, but we have so much other things we enjoy doing together that it now seem insignificant. He really went out of his way to do little things for me, and I feel as much loved now as I did 5 years ago. Try a little loving attention and see what it may do for you.

Reply to Caren L
Posted by: Caro | 2011-06-15

Let me take your predicament seriously. If counseling hasnt helped (honestly?) it may be best to opt out if you are not sexually compatible. Once you have children it will be harder to get sex or get out of the marriage. Sex is an important part of a marriage although friendship also counts for much. Your partner has to be accommodating (as long as you are not making extreme demands) of some experimentation and excitement. Your wanting to please her and be pleased sounds reasonable to me so if you have been kind, gentle and patient (ask yourself) and she still refuses to see a doctor about her lethargy (could be something medically wrong with her) and counseling doesnt work ...

Reply to Caro
Posted by: Anon | 2011-06-15

Have kids - you''ll be happy for any sex after that!!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Gugu | 2011-06-15

So much of emphasis on fitness......what''s that got to do with making love? Who cares if you are fit or not? you obsessive or what?

Reply to Gugu
Posted by: BUMMER | 2011-06-14

YEAH WELL WE HAVE HARDLY have sex what you people dont understand is she doesnt want to try anything standing 69, deepthroat blow jobs, me using my tougue on her etc i want to make her feel like a pleasured woman with me but she wont let me and she wont do it to me either ive been to a counsellor doesnt work! also she has stopped her fitness out of laziness im also attributing it to that im really trying motivating her! that doesnt work

Reply to BUMMER
Posted by: Laurei | 2011-06-14

Maybe something bothers her or, sometimes sex can be uncomfortable and painful for some women. How can you be willing to leave your wife becoz she has cant have marathons of sex??
Why not try masturbatoing befor you have sex so you might have shorter sessions with your wife.

My husband and I have sex almost every night - some nights, are 10 minutes, others one or two hours.
Your wife is not turning you away, so you have no reason to jeopardise your marriage.

Be reasonable with your wife, and ask yourself if you are being realistic.

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: BUMMER | 2011-06-14

Hey its not about that its just not exciting i dont know if its a guy thing but i dont feel like a man in bed with a woman like this she was different when we got married! sex can last for long if their is a connection from both sides!!!!!

Reply to BUMMER
Posted by: DAM | 2011-06-14

ag man, don''t be so stupid. talk to your woman about it. what if you give up your marriage for something that is not worthit.

was she this way before you married her?

Reply to DAM
Posted by: Romany | 2011-06-14

Are you one of those guys that think sex needs to last for 2 hours? If you are, I do not blame your wife.
Mind you don ''t pick up a disease or come home and find your bags on the pavement.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Bee-bee | 2011-06-14

Is sex so important to you that you would really consider to get out of the marriage? What if you get a minx in bed, but she treats you badly? Do you really think it is worth the risk?

Reply to Bee-bee
Posted by: XXX | 2011-06-14

Sadly this happens all too often,maybe try counselling

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-06-14

Why not see a marriage counsellor / sex therapist, and work on improving this problem ?

Reply to cybershrink

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