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Question
Posted by: Gela | 2010-06-15

Anxious

Hi Doctor,
My hubby and i tried to have our baby for 7 years with lots of fertility treatment and miscarriage of twins - evenatualy we fell pregnant via ivf with twins.again but 10 weeks into the preg. we lost the one but i had to carry him to the end. I dont have a mom or sisters only a dad whom i am very close to but it is obviuosly different to having female family whe having a baby. my hubby had to go back to work the day after the birth as he is in sales and it was chirstmas time. I felt so overwhelmed by  this baby ...i also realised i never had a clue on how to look after a baby so i had to just depend on my instincts which turned out great..but after about 2 months i started feeling very angry and anxious...and my husband and i started haveing terrible arguments - insutling each other terribly saying things we would never have dreamed off before. I also couldnt breast feed which was a huge disappointment so i didnt let anyone else bottle feed her except me. I did basically everything even all the p drills at night and i now dont thing it was becasue my husband didnt want to - i dont think i let him in. Well all this has caused major damage to us - we havent been intimate really since the birth and our child is 18 months old. We are like housemates..but want to make it work and find each other - what would you suggest?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I am pleased, but not surprised to hear that your instincts turned out just fine. Youll surely be a good mom. I wonder, though, whether there might be an element of PND ( Post-Natal Depression ) around. You have both been through a lot of stress in addition to the norma; stresses of having a new child. Is it possible for you to see a good marriage / couples counsellor together ? There is so much you could work on and improve, working together, and work towards a much more comfortable state of being able to enjoy your child and each other

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-06-15

I am pleased, but not surprised to hear that your instincts turned out just fine. Youll surely be a good mom. I wonder, though, whether there might be an element of PND ( Post-Natal Depression ) around. You have both been through a lot of stress in addition to the norma; stresses of having a new child. Is it possible for you to see a good marriage / couples counsellor together ? There is so much you could work on and improve, working together, and work towards a much more comfortable state of being able to enjoy your child and each other

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