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Question
Posted by: Scared | 2010/08/10

Anxiety

Hi CS

I am experiencing terrible anxiety at the moment. Been divorced for many years, never remarried or been in any other long term relationship. My daughter is leaving home next year (currently in matric). Although outwardly I share in her excitement while helping her plan for next year, inside i am dying. She is going to take all the light with her, leaving me behind in darkness. Not that I tell her this..gosh no! Don''t want her to feel guilty or responsible for mom or anything. Its just this thing I carry inside of me. To make things worse, my job is also going through an insecure phase, with a change in management. I work in HR and the changes I see happening are making me feel very insecure. I am now terrified that I will lose my job as well, although there are no real signs of this (yet)! I lie awake at night, almost breathless with fear, thinking how empty the house is going to be when my daughter leaves and what will I do if I lose my job as well etcetc.. During the day I am often tearful and upset for no real reason, except for the little monsters in my head. My question is when does anxiety become a disorder? How will I know at what point to seek help for this constant gnawing at my stomach?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some really good moms experience problems of this sort when they face the prospect of their loved child keaving hom and moving on in life. Of course you want them to be able to do that, to become adults and live their own lives, BUT - if you have let your life centre too excessively around them, you may fear having nothing else after she leaves - its wise, just as a worker should prepare over the years for retirement, ( something worth considering in general, in HR ).
Some of the light you think she may take with her is reflected light, from you, its source. Some is her own light, but which she only developed because fo you and your love.
The time to seek help is Now - whenever anxiety and depression reach a point that they start to interfere with your work and home life, intervention is wise. Counselling is really important now, to work towards bein able to enjoy your daighter's growing up, develop an even more interesting relatiomnship with her, and also to develop your own life and find new ways to feel fulfilled.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/10

Some really good moms experience problems of this sort when they face the prospect of their loved child keaving hom and moving on in life. Of course you want them to be able to do that, to become adults and live their own lives, BUT - if you have let your life centre too excessively around them, you may fear having nothing else after she leaves - its wise, just as a worker should prepare over the years for retirement, ( something worth considering in general, in HR ).
Some of the light you think she may take with her is reflected light, from you, its source. Some is her own light, but which she only developed because fo you and your love.
The time to seek help is Now - whenever anxiety and depression reach a point that they start to interfere with your work and home life, intervention is wise. Counselling is really important now, to work towards bein able to enjoy your daighter's growing up, develop an even more interesting relatiomnship with her, and also to develop your own life and find new ways to feel fulfilled.

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