Posted by: Sai-001 | 2009-08-11

Annoying and stubborn dad

My dad is a wonderful guy but sometimes we just have enough of him. He always thinks he is right. He wasnt well and the doc asked him to cut down on his drinking and smoking, he did very well for the 1st 2 weeks but started again. He refuses to go out with family and associate with them. We have a small family and we are all very close, but have no idea whats going on. He has alot of negativity towards family.

Any advice?

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Our expert says:
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It's obviously hard to guess what's going on, without his input ( and maybe even he's not sure what's going on ).
What ha changed ? Has he developed a new sense of always being right and expecting agreement, or has he always been like this, perhaps more so latel ? Or is the main change that as you have gown up, the rest of you find it harder to accept the way he has usually been ?
The only way to find a solution will be to gently discuss this with him, maybe starting by emphasizing what you began your message with --- that you think he's a wonderful guy. Maybe he's been feeling much less sure of that, lately ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2009-08-12

Has he always been this way or is it a recent development? Tough as it may be to deal with, your father is an adult and unless he has a problem (e.g. alcohol abuse) that you want to help him with, there is nothing you can do. He has the right to avoid family if he wants to. What you can do is make it clear to him that nobody else will allow him to drag them down and influence their feelings.

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