Posted by: Scared Person | 2009-07-31

Annoyed and stalked by a psychopath

I was in a relationship with someone who I thought was perfect for me - we had so much in common and was very much alike in many respects.

Our relationship was wholesome for about two months until I noticed strange behaviour from my partner. Initially he avoided meeting my friends or introducing me to his friends (if he had any I do not know, not many anyway). Then I noticed inconsistencies in what he told me and recognised that he was lying and making excuses not to see me or to avoid discussing the issues we had.

Then I soon realised what was going on after the blinding effect of love was washed away by lies and betrayal - I found evedince that he cheated on me! I decided to end things without serious confrontation, but it was dramatic and he was very manipulative after I ended things - he lied about many things. I could not beleive how deceiving he was - he is very manipulative and intelligent and knows how to irritate people without stepping over the line. He doesn' t know that I spoke to someone he cheated on me with, but eventually found out when this person told him I knew.

Since then he has been annoying me. Strange things have happened. Recently someone contacted me online from a dating site which turned out to be a fake identity created by my ex, maybe that was his idea of playing sick games. Somehow my car got scratched in front of my house, on another occasion someone also smeared dog sh!t over my car' s rear window. I get calls from Private Numbers where the person calls but does not say anything (these I just hold on the line to cost the caller money) and this went on for over two months when the calls ended. I also once caught him pouring what I beleive to be poison over plants in my garden when I came home from work one day and sure enough my petunias died. I also had to change the keys to my house and had an alarm installed since I was convinced that he had access to my house. There are many more strange things that has happened and I would require a book to mention all.

I have no proof that my ex is doing all this but my thought tells me that if these bad things are all coincidence then I should play the Lotto immediately and maybe karma will bestow me with a few millions in turn.

Is there anything I can do to protect myself from being harrassed in such an anonimous way (without living in Fort Knox and removing myself from society)? Fixing damage to my car costs money. Most people would regard this irritation as harmless but my life is being ruined and I don' t know where this will end or what my ex really is capable of.

I have tried talking to him about this but he just laughed and said that he feels flattered but that I' m paranoid and that he would not waste his time on me. Vodacom also can' t help unless I have a warrant or case number (to obtain this I would have to go to the police with proof that my life is in danger). The police said they can' t do anything unless a crime was committed...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Discuss this with a lawyer, perhaps, or just with the folks at your magistrate's court about seeking a court interdict to forbid him from harrassing you in any way --- and he'd go to jail if he ignored that. If he insists that he is doing nothing, they such an order shouldnt bother him. And the police ought to investigate such a complaint --- they cannot demand PROOF that your life is in danger --- that might be a result of an investigation, but shouldn't be demanded up front. And if you make a formal complaint to the police, they should give you a case number anyway. Whichever policeman told you thet cannot do anything before a crime was committed is an idiot --- threatening or harrassing anyone IS a crime, and should be investigated

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Our users say:
Posted by: rob | 2009-07-31

Report the whole thing to the police, this person harrasing you may lose it and turn violent.

Reply to rob
Posted by: Pat | 2009-07-31

Wow that' s scary! You say it may only be an ' irritation'  to some people but this guy sounds dangerous and disturbed! Can you maybe speak to his parents? Try parking your car somewhere else for a while? Make it seem like you' re not there for a while and he might give up.

Reply to Pat

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