Our expert says:
Why, why, wahy ever have a relationship with a married man, let alone choose to have a child by him ? As you discovered, he stayed with his wife.
DOn't be so harsh about the wife - it IS her business if her husband chose to cheat on her and have a child by some other woman, and if he has to pay money out of the family, to support this other child. Of course she is angry to discover this - she is indeed wrong to in any way take it out on the innocent child, but she doesn't have to like you yourself. Her husband could not have broken his marriage vows without your very active assistance and encouragement, so don't convince yourself you're entirely blameless here. YOU are entirely responsible for the choices you made and for your behaviours and their consequences, too. YOU chose to limit your child's access to love from two parents and to other good things in life, by choosing to have unprotected sex with a married man who was not at all likely to marry you.
If you can establish that this is his child, go to the Maintenance Court and have the court decide how much maintenance he should pay each month for the benefit of the child. The he would be in serious trouble with the court if he did NOT pay what the court decided, and would need to contact you strictly about the child's needs.
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