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Question
Posted by: Me! | 2008/09/22

Anger problem

Help me! During the weekend I had a party for friends. Me and my fiance. My fiance always says that I have a anger problem, so let me explain. Saterday having the party people started getting drunk and talking nonsence as it gets at some parties, and one of my friend broke my toilet...YES broke my toilet, and everyone thought that it was funny accept me. Ammediatly I stop drinking and I was upset, my fiance told me to stop being so angry because I am making the people uncomfortable. I then in return explained to her very nicely that I am upset with the toilet being broken and I feel that no-one respects my house. And even she said "  Ag leave it and worry about it tommorow"  and even that made me angry for her saying that. Now we are fighting about the night and my anger. I want to know is it unfair for me to feel this way or is she right and I am wrong? I must add that I get irritated with alot of things and my finace says that she is going to leave me if I don' t change very quick......???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You have of course every right to be angry at your toilet being broken by a drunken idiot, and to expect that person to pay to have it repaired. Now, that very night, when people are drunk already, isn't a wise time to deal directly with such episodes, other than to suggest that the party is over and people should go home --- you wouldn't get sense by talking to a drunk.
If you are udner stress for any reason, that might contribute to making you short-tempered. The question is do you get unreasonably severely angry, or angry over trivial things. A broken toilet isn't trivial, and if she expects you to ignore such wanton damage to your property by her drunken friends, it may be wise to re-evaluate the engagement, and at least seek relationship counselling before proceeding further towards a wedding.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me! | 2008/09/22

To: Cybershrink.
Yes I do get angry and is short fused but I will explain why and this is exactly why my fiance hets upset with me, she says that I always have a reason and I shouldn' t have one evrytime, but let me explain. Now after the toilet breaking, we continued the party and yes I didn' t approach the guy who did it, I left it and I myself stpped drinking and just sat back and let everyone else have a good time. By 3 am I told my fiance that I am tired and wanted to go and sleep, she seemed upset that I wanted to go and sleep, which made me angry, and I told her because tommorow I have to get up go and buy a toilet and put it in, while the you sleep because you would have a hang over, and just as I said I got up at 9am went to the hardware bought a toilet went home and like I predited she was sleeping....I woke her and said " this is what I mean, I have to work and you want to sleep"  who is going to help me and just for a moment take my feelings into consideration? She was upset and turned it around to say that I am being nasty and cold and why did I have to say something like that to her? Now bare in mind which I haven' t mentioned I am renting the house from my Mom, and was scared that she would be upset with me, and no-one wanted to understand how I felt, and just wanted to party and ignor the fact that there is a problem, and only I saw a problem.......She even said fine the toilet is broken but it is not necessary to make other people uncomfortable.

Reply to Me!
Posted by: EL | 2008/09/22

The person that broke your toilet could have apologized! You have every reason to be angry. But it' s the way you handle it that counts.

Reply to EL

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